Dramatizations on historical topics at school. Mini-skits on a school theme. "About foreign languages"

Sketch "Our cases"

(according to L. Kaminsky)

Characters: teacher and student Petrov

Teacher: Petrov, go to the blackboard and write down a short story that I will dictate to you.

Student goes to the board and gets ready to write.

Teacher (dictates):“Dad and mom scolded Vova for bad behavior. Vova was silent guiltily, and then promised to improve.”

Student writes from dictation on the board.

Teacher: Wonderful! Underline all the nouns in your story.

Student emphasizes the words: “dad”, “mom”, “Vova”, “behaviour”, “Vova”, “promise”.

Teacher: Ready? Determine which cases these nouns are in. Understood?

Student: Yes!

Teacher: Get started!

Student: "Father and mother". Who? What? Parents. This means the case is genitive.

Scolded someone, what? Vova. “Vova” is a name. This means the case is nominative.

Scolded for what? For bad behavior. Apparently he did something. This means that “behavior” has the instrumental case.

Vova was silent guiltily. This means that here “Vova” has the accusative case.

Well, the “promise,” of course, is in the dative case, since Vova gave it!

That's all!

Teacher: Yes, the analysis turned out to be original! Bring me the diary, Petrov. I wonder what mark you would suggest you set for yourself?

Student: Which one? Of course, an A!

Teacher: So, five? By the way, in what case did you name this word - “five”?

Student: In the prepositional form!

Teacher: In the prepositional? Why?

Student: Well, I suggested it myself!

Sketch "Correct answer"

(I. Butman)

Characters: teacher and student Petrov

Teacher: Petrov, how much will it be: four divided by two?

Student: What should we divide, Mikhail Ivanovich?

Teacher: Well, let's say four apples.

Student: And between whom?

Teacher: Well, let it be between you and Sidorov.

Student: Then three for me and one for Sidorov.

Teacher: Why is this?

Student: Because Sidorov owes me one apple.

Teacher: Doesn’t he owe you a plum?

Student: No, you shouldn’t have plums.

Teacher: Well, how much will it be if four plums are divided by two?

Student: Four. And all to Sidorov.

Teacher: Why four?

Student: Because I don't like plums.

Teacher: Wrong again.

Student: How many is correct?

Teacher: But now I’ll put the correct answer in your diary!

Scene "3=7 and 2=5"

(Newspaper "Primary School", "Mathematics", No. 24, 2002)

Teacher: Well, Petrov? What should I do with you?

Petrov: And what?

Teacher: You didn’t do anything all year, you didn’t study anything. I don’t really know what to put on your report.

Petrov(looking sullenly at the floor): I, Ivan Ivanovich, scientific work was studying.

Teacher: What are you talking about? Which one?

Petrov: I decided that all our mathematics was wrong and... proved it!

Teacher: Well, how, Comrade Great Petrov, did you achieve this?

Petrov: Ah, what can I say, Ivan Ivanovich! It’s not my fault that Pythagoras was wrong and this... Archimedes!

Teacher: Archimedes?

Petrov: And he too, After all, they said that three is only equal to three.

Teacher: What else?

Petrov(solemnly): This is not true! I proved that three equals seven!

Teacher: Like this?

Petrov: But look: 15 -15 = 0. Right?

Teacher: Right.

Petrov: 35 - 35 =0 - also true. So 15-15 = 35-35. Right?

Teacher: Right.

Petrov: We take out the common factors: 3(5-5) = 7(5-5). Right?

Teacher: Exactly.

Petrov: Hehe! (5-5) = (5-5). This is also true!

Teacher: Yes.

Petrov: Then everything is upside down: 3 = 7!

Teacher: Yeah! So, Petrov, we survived.

Petrov: I didn’t want to, Ivan Ivanovich. But you can’t sin against science...

Teacher: It's clear. Look: 20-20 = 0. Right?

Petrov: Exactly!

Teacher: 8-8 = 0 - also true. Then 20-20 = 8-8. It is truth too?

Petrov: Exactly, Ivan Ivanovich, exactly.

Teacher: We take out the common factors: 5(4-4) = 2(4-4). Right?

Petrov: Right!

Teacher: Then that’s it, Petrov, I’ll give you a “2”!

Petrov: For what, Ivan Ivanovich?

Teacher: Don’t be upset, Petrov, because if we divide both sides of the equality by (4-4), then 2=5. Is that what you did?

Petrov: Let us suppose.

Teacher: So I put “2”, who cares. A?

Petrov: No, it doesn’t matter, Ivan Ivanovich, “5” is better.

Teacher: Perhaps it’s better, Petrov, but until you prove this, you will have a D in a year, which, in your opinion, is equal to an A!

Guys, help Petrov.

Scene "Folder under the mouse"

(I. Semerenko)

Vovka: Listen, I'll tell you a funny story. Yesterday I took the folder by the mouse and went to Uncle Yura, my mother ordered.

Andrey: Ha ha ha! It's really funny.

Vovka(surprised): What's so funny? I haven't even started to tell you yet.

Andrey(laughing): A folder... under your arm! Well thought out. Yes, your folder won’t fit under your arm, he’s not a cat!

Vovka: Why “my folder”? The folder is dad's. You've forgotten how to speak correctly because of laughter, or what?

Andrey: (winking and tapping himself on the forehead): Ah, I guessed it! Grandfather - under the arm! He himself speaks incorrectly, but he also teaches. Now it’s clear: dad’s folder is your grandfather Kolya! In general, it’s great that you came up with this - funny and with a riddle!

Vova(offended): What does my grandfather Kolya have to do with it? I wanted to tell you something completely different. I didn’t listen to the end, but you laugh and get in the way of talking. And he dragged my grandfather under his arm, what a storyteller he was! I'd rather go home than talk to you.

Andrey(to himself, left alone): And why was he offended? For what funny stories tell me if you can’t laugh?

Sketch "At the lessons of natural history"

Characters : teacher and students in class

Teacher: Who can name five wild animals?

Student Petrov reaches out his hand.

Teacher: Answer, Petrov.

Student Petrov: Tiger, tigress and... three tiger cubs.

Teacher: What's happened dense forests? Answer, Kosichkina!

Student Kosichkina: These are the kind of forests in which... it’s good to doze off.

Teacher: Simakova, please name the parts of the flower.

Student Simakova: Petals, stem, pot.

Teacher: Ivanov, please answer us, what benefits do birds and animals bring to humans?

Student Ivanov: Birds peck mosquitoes, and cats catch mice for him.

Teacher: Petrov, what book about famous travelers have you read?

Student Petukhov: "Frog traveler"

Teacher: Who can answer how the sea differs from the river? Please, Mishkin.

Student Mishkin: The river has two banks, and the sea has one.

Student Zaitsev reaches out his hand.

Teacher: What do you want, Zaitsev? Is there something you want to ask?

Student Zaitsev: Mary Ivanna, is it true that people descended from monkeys?

Teacher: Is it true.

Student Zaitsev: That's what I see: there are so few monkeys!

Teacher: Kozyavin, please answer, what is the life expectancy of a mouse?

Student Kozyavin: Well, Mary Ivanna, it depends entirely on the cat.

Teacher: Meshkov will go to the board and tell us about the crocodile.

Student Meshkov (coming to the blackboard): The length of the crocodile from head to tail is five meters, and from tail to head - seven meters.

Teacher: Think about what you are saying! Is it possible?

Student Meshkov: Happens! For example, from Monday to Wednesday - two days, and from Wednesday to Monday - five!

Teacher: Khomyakov, answer me, why do people need a nervous system?

Student Khomyakov: To be nervous.

Teacher: Why do you, Sinichkin, look at your watch every minute?

Student Sinichkin: Because I'm terribly worried that the bell will interrupt an amazingly interesting lesson.

Teacher: Guys, who can answer where the bird is flying with a straw in its beak?

Student Belkov raises his hand higher than everyone else.

Teacher: Try, Belkov.

Student Belkov: To the cocktail bar, Mary Ivanna.

Teacher: Teplyakova, what are the last teeth a person develops?

Student Teplyakova: Inserts, Mary Ivanna.

Teacher: Now I will ask you a very difficult question, for the correct answer I will immediately give you an A plus. And the question is: “Why is European time ahead of American time?”

Student Klyushkin reaches out his hand.

Teacher: Answer, Klyushkin.

Student Klyushkin: Because America was discovered later!

Sketch "At Math Lessons"

Characters: teacher and students in class

Teacher: Petrov, you can hardly count to ten. I can’t imagine what you can become?

Student Petrov: Boxing judge, Mary Ivanna!

Teacher: Trushkin goes to the board to solve the problem.

Student Trushkin goes to the board.

Teacher: Listen carefully to the statement of the problem. Dad bought 1 kilogram of sweets, and mom bought another 2 kilograms. How many...

Student Trushkin heads towards the door.

Teacher: Trushkin, where are you going?!

Student Trushkin: I ran home, I have candy!

Teacher: Petrov, bring the diary here. I'll put your deuce in it yesterday.

Student Petrov: I don't have one.

Teacher: Where is he?

Student Petrov: And I gave it to Vitka - to scare his parents!

Teacher: Vasechkin, if you have ten rubles, and you ask your brother for another ten rubles, how much money will you have?

Student Vasechkin: Ten rubles.

Teacher: You just don’t know math!

Student Vasechkin: No, you don’t know my brother!

Teacher: Sidorov, please answer, what is three times seven?

Student Sidorov: Marya Ivanovna, I will answer your question only in the presence of my lawyer!

Teacher: Why, Ivanov, does your father always do your homework for you?

Student Ivanov: And mom doesn’t have free time!

Teacher: Now solve problem number 125 yourself.

The students get to work.

Teacher: Smirnov! Why are you copying from Terentyev?

Student Smirnov: No, Mary Ivanna, he’s copying it from me, and I’m just checking to see if he did it correctly!

Teacher: Guys, who is Archimedes? Answer, Shcherbinina.

Shcherbinin's student: This is a mathematical Greek.

Sketch "At Russian language lessons"

Characters: teacher and students in class

Teacher: Let's hear how you learned homework. Whoever answers first will receive a higher point.

Student Ivanov(pulls out his hand and shouts): Mary Ivanna, I will be the first, give me three at once!

Teacher: Your essay about a dog, Petrov, is word for word similar to Ivanov’s essay!

Student Petrov: Mary Ivanna, Ivanov and I live in the same yard, and there we have one dog for all of us!

Teacher: You, Sidorov, have a wonderful essay, but why isn’t it finished?

Student Sidorov: But because dad was urgently called to work!

Teacher: Koshkin, admit it, who wrote your essay?

Student Koshkin: Don't know. I went to bed early.

Teacher: As for you, Klevtsov, let your grandfather come to see me tomorrow!

Student Klevtsov: Grandfather? Maybe dad?

Teacher: No, grandfather. I want to show him what gross mistakes his son makes when he writes an essay for you.

Teacher: What kind of word is “egg”, Sinichkin?

Student Sinichkin: None.

Teacher: Why?

Student Sinichkin: Because it is unknown who will hatch from it: a rooster or a chicken.

Teacher: Petushkov, determine the gender of the words: “chair”, “table”, “sock”, “stocking”.

Student Petushkov: “Table”, “chair” and “sock” are masculine, and “stocking” is feminine.

Teacher: Why?

Student Petushkov: Because only women wear stockings!

Teacher: Smirnov, go to the board, write down and analyze the sentence.

Student Smirnov goes to the blackboard.

The teacher dictates and the student writes down: “Dad went to the garage.”

Teacher: Ready? We are listening to you.

Student Smirnov: Dad is the subject, gone is the predicate, to the garage is ... a preposition.

Teacher: Who, guys, can come up with a sentence with homogeneous members?

Student Tyulkina reaches out her hand.

Teacher: Please, Tyulkina.

Student Tyulkina: There were no trees, bushes, or grass in the forest.

Teacher: Sobakin, come up with a sentence with the numeral “three”.

Student Sobakin: My mom works for KNITTING FACTORY.

Teacher: Rubashkin, go to the board and write down the sentence.

Student Rubashkin goes to the blackboard.

Teacher dictates: The guys were catching butterflies nets.

Student Rubashkin writes: The guys were catching butterflies with glasses.

Teacher: Rubashkin, why are you so inattentive?

Student Rubashkin: And what?

Teacher: Where have you seen bespectacled butterflies?

Teacher: Meshkov, what part of speech is the word “dry”?

Student Meshkov, standing up, is silent for a long time.

Teacher: Well, think about it, Meshkov, what question does this word answer?

Student Meshkov: What kind? Dryish!

Teacher: Antonyms are words that are opposite in meaning. For example, fat - thin, cry - laugh, day - night. Petushkov, now give me your example.

Student Petushkov: Cat dog.

Teacher: What does “cat - dog” have to do with it?

Student Petushkov: Well, how about that? They are opposites and often fight with each other.

Teacher: Sidorov, why do you eat apples in class?

Student Sidorov: It’s a pity to waste time during recess!

Teacher: Stop immediately! By the way, why weren't you at school yesterday?

Student Sidorov: My older brother got sick.

Teacher: What do you have to do with it?

Student Sidorov: And I rode his bike!

Teacher: Sidorov! My patience has run out! Don't come to school tomorrow without your father!

Student Sidorov: And the day after tomorrow?

Teacher: Sushkina, come up with a proposal with an appeal.

Sushkina's student: Mary Ivanna, call!

Scene "Schoolboy and salesman"

Characters: student and store sales assistant

Shop assistant: What can I tell you?

Schoolboy: Years of reign of Nicholas II?

Shop assistant: Do not know.

Schoolboy: Okay... Pythagorean theorem?

Shop assistant: ... (shrugs)

Schoolboy: Photosynthesis?

Shop assistant: (sighing) I don’t know...

Schoolboy: Well, why are you bothering then with your “What can I tell you?”!!!

Scene "Schoolchildren at the Stadium"

Characters: schoolchildren and stadium informant

A group of young fans led by a leader chant loudly:

"SPARTAK IS A CHAMPION!" "SPARTAK IS A CHAMPION!"

Suddenly the voice of the stadium informant comes on:

Your history teacher is at the match!

Young fans start chanting:

“SPA-RTAC IS A ROMAN SLAVE!” “SPA-RTAC IS A ROMAN SLAVE!”

FUNNY SCENES FROM SCHOOL LIFE

Offered to your attention humorous skits will not require their performers to memorize large texts(playing the role of a teacher can even use the cheat sheet included in the class magazine), and they will not need special costumes. Rehearsals will take a minimum of time. At the same time, the themes of all the skits are very close to the children. It will be useful for them to look at themselves from the outside, to laugh at their mistakes.

Sketch "Our cases"

(By L. TO Aminsky)

Characters : teacher and student Petrov

Teacher:Petrov, go to the blackboard and write down a short story that I will dictate to you.

Studentgoes to the board and gets ready to write.

Teacher (dictates): “Dad and mom scolded Vova for bad behavior. Vova was silent guiltily, and then promised to improve.”

Studentwrites from dictation on the board.

Teacher:Wonderful! Underline all the nouns in your story.

Studentemphasizes the words: “dad”, “mom”, “Vova”, “behaviour”, “Vova”, “promise”.

Teacher:Ready? Determine which cases these nouns are in. Understood?

Student: Yes!

Teacher: Get started!

Student: "Father and mother". Who? What? Parents. This means the case is genitive.

Scolded someone, what? Vova. “Vova” is a name. This means the case is nominative.

Scolded for what? For bad behavior. Apparently he did something. This means that “behavior” has the instrumental case.

Vova was silent guiltily. This means that here “Vova” has the accusative case.

Well, the “promise,” of course, is in the dative case, since Vova gave it!

That's all!

Teacher: Yes, the analysis turned out to be original! Bring me the diary, Petrov. I wonder what mark you would suggest you set for yourself?

Student: Which one? Of course, an A!

Teacher:So, five? By the way, in what case did you name this word - “five”?

Student: In the prepositional form!

Teacher:In the prepositional? Why?

Student : Well, I suggested it myself!

Sketch "Correct answer"

(AND. B utman)

Characters : teacher and student Petrov

Teacher: Petrov, how much will it be: four divided by two?

Student: What should we divide, Mikhail Ivanovich?

Teacher: Well, let's say four apples.

Student: And between whom?

Teacher: Well, let it be between you and Sidorov.

Student: Then three for me and one for Sidorov.

Teacher: Why is this?

Student: Because Sidorov owes me one apple.

Teacher: Doesn’t he owe you a plum?

Student: No, you shouldn’t have plums.

Teacher: Well, how much will it be if four plums are divided by two?

Student: Four. And all to Sidorov.

Teacher: Why four?

Student: Because I don't like plums.

Teacher: Wrong again.

Student: How many is correct?

Teacher: But now I’ll put the correct answer in your diary!

Scene "3=7 and 2=5"

(Newspaper "Primary School", "Mathematics", No. 24, 2002)

Teacher: Well, Petrov? What should I do with you?

Petrov: And what?

Teacher: You didn’t do anything all year, you didn’t study anything. I don’t really know what to put on your report.

Petrov(looking sullenly at the floor): I, Ivan Ivanovich, was engaged in scientific work.

Teacher: What are you talking about? Which one?

Petrov: I decided that all our mathematics was wrong and... proved it!

Teacher: Well, how, Comrade Great Petrov, did you achieve this?

Petrov: Ah, what can I say, Ivan Ivanovich! It’s not my fault that Pythagoras was wrong and this... Archimedes!

Teacher: Archimedes?

Petrov: And he too, After all, they said that three is only equal to three.

Teacher: What else?

Petrov(solemnly): This is not true! I proved that three equals seven!

Teacher: Like this?

Petrov: But look: 15 -15 = 0. Right?

Teacher: Right.

Petrov: 35 - 35 =0 - also true. So 15-15 = 35-35. Right?

Teacher: Right.

Petrov: We take out the common factors: 3(5-5) = 7(5-5). Right?

Teacher: Exactly.

Petrov: Hehe! (5-5) = (5-5). This is also true!

Teacher: Yes.

Petrov: Then everything is upside down: 3 = 7!

Teacher: Yeah! So, Petrov, we survived.

Petrov: I didn’t want to, Ivan Ivanovich. But you can’t sin against science...

Teacher: It's clear. Look: 20-20 = 0. Right?

Petrov: Exactly!

Teacher: 8-8 = 0 - also true. Then 20-20 = 8-8. It is truth too?

Petrov: Exactly, Ivan Ivanovich, exactly.

Teacher: We take out the common factors: 5(4-4) = 2(4-4). Right?

Petrov: Right!

Teacher: Then that’s it, Petrov, I’ll give you a “2”!

Petrov: For what, Ivan Ivanovich?

Teacher: Don’t be upset, Petrov, because if we divide both sides of the equality by (4-4), then 2=5. Is that what you did?

Petrov: Let us suppose.

Teacher: So I put “2”, who cares. A?

Petrov: No, it doesn’t matter, Ivan Ivanovich, “5” is better.

Teacher: Perhaps it’s better, Petrov, but until you prove this, you will have a D in a year, which, in your opinion, is equal to an A!

Guys, help Petrov .

Scene "Folder under the mouse"

(AND. WITH Emerenko)

Vovka: Listen, I'll tell you a funny story. Yesterday I took the folder by the mouse and went to Uncle Yura, my mother ordered.

Andrey: Ha ha ha! It's really funny.

Vovka(surprised): What's so funny? I haven't even started to tell you yet.

Andrey(laughing): A folder... under your arm! Well thought out. Yes, your folder won’t fit under your arm, he’s not a cat!

Vovka: Why “my folder”? The folder is dad's. You've forgotten how to speak correctly because of laughter, or what?

Andrey: (winking and tapping himself on the forehead): Ah, I guessed it! Grandfather - under the arm! He himself speaks incorrectly, but he also teaches. Now it’s clear: dad’s folder is your grandfather Kolya! In general, it’s great that you came up with this - funny and with a riddle!

Vova(offended): What does my grandfather Kolya have to do with it? I wanted to tell you something completely different. I didn’t listen to the end, but you laugh and get in the way of talking. And he dragged my grandfather under his arm, what a storyteller he was! I'd rather go home than talk to you.

Andrey (to himself, left alone): And why was he offended? Why tell funny stories if you can't laugh?

Sketch "At the lessons of natural history"

Characters : teacher and students in class

Teacher:Who can name five wild animals?

Student Petrov reaches out his hand .

Teacher: Answer, Petrov.

Student Petrov: Tiger, tigress and... three tiger cubs.

Teacher: What are dense forests? Answer, Kosichkina!

Student Kosichkina : These are the kind of forests in which... it’s good to doze off.

Teacher: Simakova, please name the parts of the flower.

Student Simakova : Petals, stem, pot.

Teacher: Ivanov, please answer us, what benefits do birds and animals bring to humans?

Student Ivanov: Birds peck mosquitoes, and cats catch mice for him.

Teacher: Petrov, what book about famous travelers have you read?

Student Petukhov: "Frog traveler"

Teacher: Who can answer how the sea differs from the river? Please, Mishkin.

Student Mishkin: The river has two banks, and the sea has one.

Student Zaitsev reaches out his hand .

Teacher: What do you want, Zaitsev? Is there something you want to ask?

Student Zaitsev: Mary Ivanna, is it true that people descended from monkeys?

Teacher: Is it true.

Student Zaitsev: That's what I see: there are so few monkeys!

Teacher: Kozyavin, please answer, what is the life expectancy of a mouse?

Student Kozyavin: Well, Mary Ivanna, it depends entirely on the cat.

Teacher: Meshkov will go to the board and tell us about the crocodile.

Student Meshkov (coming to the blackboard) : The length of the crocodile from head to tail is five meters, and from tail to head - seven meters.

Teacher: Think about what you are saying! Is it possible?

Student Meshkov: Happens! For example, from Monday to Wednesday - two days, and from Wednesday to Monday - five!

Teacher: Khomyakov, answer me, why do people need a nervous system?

Student Khomyakov: To be nervous.

Teacher: Why do you, Sinichkin, look at your watch every minute?

Student Sinichkin: Because I'm terribly worried that the bell will interrupt an amazingly interesting lesson.

Teacher: Guys, who can answer where the bird is flying with a straw in its beak?

Student Belkov raises his hand higher than everyone else.

Teacher: Try, Belkov.

Student Belkov: To the cocktail bar, Mary Ivanna.

Teacher: Teplyakova, what are the last teeth a person develops?

Student Teplyakova: Inserts, Mary Ivanna.

Teacher: Now I will ask you a very difficult question, for the correct answer I will immediately give you an A plus. And the question is: “Why is European time ahead of American time?”

Student Klyushkin reaches out his hand .

Teacher: Answer, Klyushkin.

Student Klyushkin : Because America was discovered later!

Sketch "At Math Lessons"

Characters : teacher and students in class

Teacher: Petrov, you can hardly count to ten. I can’t imagine what you can become?

Student Petrov: Boxing judge, Mary Ivanna!

Teacher: Trushkin goes to the board to solve the problem.

Student Trushkingoes to the board.

Teacher: Listen carefully to the statement of the problem. Dad bought 1 kilogram of sweets, and mom bought another 2 kilograms. How many...

Student Trushkinheads towards the door.

Teacher: Trushkin, where are you going?!

Student Trushkin: I ran home, I have candy!

Teacher: Petrov, bring the diary here. I'll put your deuce in it yesterday.

Student Petrov: I don't have one.

Teacher: Where is he?

Student Petrov: And I gave it to Vitka - to scare his parents!

Teacher: Vasechkin, if you have ten rubles, and you ask your brother for another ten rubles, how much money will you have?

Student Vasechkin: Ten rubles.

Teacher: You just don’t know math!

Student Vasechkin: No, you don’t know my brother!

Teacher: Sidorov, please answer, what is three times seven?

Student Sidorov: Marya Ivanovna, I will answer your question only in the presence of my lawyer!

Teacher: Why, Ivanov, does your father always do your homework for you?

Student Ivanov: And mom doesn’t have free time!

Teacher: Now solve problem number 125 yourself.

The students get to work .

Teacher: Smirnov! Why are you copying from Terentyev?

Student Smirnov: No, Mary Ivanna, he’s copying it from me, and I’m just checking to see if he did it correctly!

Teacher: Guys, who is Archimedes? Answer, Shcherbinina.

Shcherbinin's student : This is a mathematical Greek.

Sketch "At Russian language lessons"

Characters : teacher and students in class

Teacher: Let's hear how you learned your homework. Whoever answers first will receive a higher point.

Student Ivanov(pulls out his hand and shouts): Mary Ivanna, I will be the first, give me three at once!

Teacher: Your essay about a dog, Petrov, is word for word similar to Ivanov’s essay!

Student Petrov: Mary Ivanna, Ivanov and I live in the same yard, and there we have one dog for all of us!

Teacher: You, Sidorov, have a wonderful essay, but why isn’t it finished?

Student Sidorov: But because dad was urgently called to work!

Teacher: Koshkin, admit it, who wrote your essay?

Student Koshkin: Don't know. I went to bed early.

Teacher: As for you, Klevtsov, let your grandfather come to see me tomorrow!

Student Klevtsov: Grandfather? Maybe dad?

Teacher: No, grandfather. I want to show him what gross mistakes his son makes when he writes an essay for you.

Teacher: What kind of word is “egg”, Sinichkin?

Student Sinichkin: None.

Teacher: Why?

Student Sinichkin: Because it is unknown who will hatch from it: a rooster or a chicken.

Teacher: Petushkov, determine the gender of the words: “chair”, “table”, “sock”, “stocking”.

Student Petushkov: “Table”, “chair” and “sock” are masculine, and “stocking” is feminine.

Teacher: Why?

Student Petushkov: Because only women wear stockings!

Teacher: Smirnov, go to the board, write down and analyze the sentence.

Student Smirnov goes to the blackboard .

The teacher dictates and the student writes down : “Dad went to the garage.”

Teacher: Ready? We are listening to you.

Student Smirnov: Dad is the subject, gone is the predicate, to the garage is ... a preposition.

Teacher: Who, guys, can come up with a sentence with homogeneous members?

Student Tyulkina reaches out her hand .

Teacher: Please, Tyulkina.

Student Tyulkina : There were no trees, bushes, or grass in the forest.

Teacher: Sobakin, come up with a sentence with the numeral “three”.

Student Sobakin: My mother works at a knitting factory.

Teacher: Rubashkin, go to the board and write down the sentence.

Student Rubashkin goes to the blackboard .

Teacher dictates: The guys were catching butterflies nets.

Student Rubashkin writes : The guys were catching butterflies with glasses.

Teacher: Rubashkin, why are you so inattentive?

Student Rubashkin: And what?

Teacher: Where have you seen bespectacled butterflies?

Teacher: Meshkov, what part of speech is the word “dry”?

Student Meshkov, standing up, is silent for a long time .

Teacher: Well, think about it, Meshkov, what question does this word answer?

Student Meshkov: What kind? Dryish!

Teacher: Antonyms are words that are opposite in meaning. For example, fat - thin, cry - laugh, day - night. Petushkov, now give me your example.

Student Petushkov: Cat dog.

Teacher: What does “cat - dog” have to do with it?

Student Petushkov: Well, how about that? They are opposites and often fight with each other.

Teacher: Sidorov, why do you eat apples in class?

Student Sidorov: It’s a pity to waste time during recess!

Teacher: Stop immediately! By the way, why weren't you at school yesterday?

Student Sidorov: My older brother got sick.

Teacher: What do you have to do with it?

Student Sidorov: And I rode his bike!

Teacher: Sidorov! My patience has run out! Don't come to school tomorrow without your father!

Student Sidorov: And the day after tomorrow?

Teacher: Sushkina, come up with a proposal with an appeal.

Sushkina's student: Mary Ivanna, call!

Decoration for almost everyone children's party become funny scenes about school. KVN, held within its own walls, New Year's party, the birth of a school - you never know what great reasons to have fun!

We are pleased to offer you a selection of several scenes that will help create a festive mood.

Short dialogues

The little ones about school offered here do not require decorations or memorization of long texts at all.

One student sleepily says to another:

I must be allergic!

Why do you say that?

Yes, I cover myself with a blanket and sleep all the time!

Two students after a geography lesson:

I still don't believe the Earth rotates!

Why so?

Yes, if it had been spinning, the sea would have splashed out long ago!

The poor student angrily tells his friend:

You imagine? The teacher demanded that I name the simplest thing that reproduces by division! I'm not good at math at all!

In the computer class

The following funny scenes about school also do not require special decorations. Only the latter will require an imitation of a computer lab.

A stupid high school girl, showing off, looks at the tablet as if at a mirror:

My light, mirror, tell me! Tell me the whole truth! Am I the cutest in the world? Everyone is slimmer and more fashionable?

Mirror (drawn out, but angrily):

I'll give you my answer! You frazzled me out! I am a tablet!

A student asks the teacher:

Ivan Ivanovich, did you have a tablet as a child?

No, what are you talking about, there were no computers then!

What did you play on?

On the street!

The cleaning lady comes into the computer class and sternly asks:

Who here knows how to use computers?

All students, without exception, answer: “I.”

Cleaning lady (threateningly):

Then immediately go online and look for a site that teaches you how to use the toilet!

Sketch for a school anniversary: ​​funny and not very long

This scene requires only characteristic features from the actors. The “nerd” should wear glasses and speak sternly, while the girl and her friend should look silly, cutesy and enthusiastic.

A guy who looks like a typical “nerd” tells his friend:

Can you imagine, Tomka called me home to see what was wrong with her computer! I come, and she, apparently, cannot sit in one place at all! The chair is spinning, so the cord is wrapped around the chair leg. I cursed, untangled the cord, inserted the plug that had popped out, turned on her computer and left.

Tomochka, rolling her eyes, enthusiastically tells her classmate:

Oh, this Lyutikov can also do magic!

What are you doing?!

Well, yes, he came to me, looked intently at the computer, raised his hands up, whispered something mystical, turned my chair 10 times counterclockwise, kicked the computer, whispered something mystical again and left. Imagine, everything worked!

Classmate, admiringly:

Wow! Witch!

Very funny scenes about school

After an explanation in a science lesson, the teacher asks the class:

Well, now do you understand why it snows in winter and not in summer?

Petrov, from the spot:

Of course, understandable! If it fell in the summer, it would melt!

During a Russian language lesson, the teacher says:

Petrov, “I’m studying, you’re studying, he’s studying” - what time is this?

Petrov, with a sigh:

Lost, Mary Ivanna!

Friends come up to an excellent student and say:

Andryukha, let's go to a cafe with the girls tonight!

Andrey, thinking:

No, I won't go with you! There the music is blaring, everyone is making noise...

So what?

Yes, I doubt that in such a situation I will be able to fully understand the essence of the Lebesgue-Stieltjes integral.

Skits for younger schoolchildren

The following funny scenes are for primary school. They can be successfully shown at a children's party. True, high school students will have to help their younger comrades in this.

A high school student says to his friends:

Look how stupid this first-grader is! I'll show you now!

He calls the baby and, when he approaches, says to him:

In this hand I have 50 rubles, and in this hand I have 10 - what will you take for yourself?

The kid takes 10 rubles. The high school students laugh, twirl their fingers at their temples, and spread their arms.

A friend of a first-grader asks him on the sidelines:

Why did you choose 10 rubles?

Well, if I choose 50, then the game will be over!

A first-grader examines a manicure from a high school girl (admiringly):

Wow, your nails are so long!

A high school girl, simpering:

What, do you like it?

Well, yes! They must be so convenient for climbing trees!

Mom looks at the first-grader's diary. And there the two is crossed out, and there is a four next to it. Mom, with horror:

Vanechka! What it is?!

Vanechka, calmly looking at his mother:

The teacher told us that if we wanted, we could correct the bad grade!

Skits with teachers

The following are funny short skits You can play about the school yourself, or you can invite teachers to participate in them.

Conversation with the teacher:

Sidorkin, didn’t you promise me that you would correct your bad grade?

Yes, Mary Ivanna.

Didn’t I promise to call your parents if you didn’t do this?

Yes, Mary Ivanna, but if I didn’t keep my promise, then you don’t have to keep yours either!

The teacher looks sternly at the latecomer:

Semyon! You're late again! What is it this time?

Semyon, it's my fault:

Mary Ivanna, I woke up, looked at what time it was, and blinked unsuccessfully.

The music teacher addresses mommy:

Your daughter needs to play the piano more!

Mommy, sighing heavily:

Lord, so much more! Our seventh neighbor has already moved out!

Dreams Dreams...

These little ones about school will require minimal scenery to show that the kids have left school, although these conversations can also take place during recess. It all depends on the director’s imagination.

Sidorov, sighing heavily, walks home from school. Ivanov asks him:

Sidorov, what are you doing? Did you get a two?

Sidorov sadly:

And he adds dreamily:

Can you imagine how much easier it would be to learn if a theorem in geometry could be proven with the words: “Well, you can see!”

The guy dreamily: “It would be great if we could read minds!” Then I would know what to answer in class!”

His friend: “Yeah, and I would also know what the teacher thinks when you answer incorrectly!”

Romantic relationship

Of course, funny short scenes about school cannot ignore how unexpectedly sometimes sympathy between boys and girls appears at school.

Vovochka escorts Masha home from school and says to her hesitantly:

Listen, Masha, I want to confess to you (pause), (he then speaks quickly) while you were walking to the board, I tore the wings off a fly and threw it into your briefcase! I'm sorry!

Masha, narrowing her eyes slyly:

I wonder if it tastes good?

Vovochka is confused:

I don’t know... Why are you asking?

Masha calmly:

Yes, I also want to apologize! I threw it in your soup in the dining room while you were going for bread!

Let's laugh a little more

Even the funniest scenes about school are often taken directly from life, so the organizers of the holiday can come up with something similar themselves.

During a Russian language lesson, Vovochka asks his neighbor at his desk:

Do you hear how to say correctly: cottage cheese or cottage cheese?

A neighbor, adjusting his glasses, looking smart:

Emphasis on "o"!

Vovochka, after a pause:

Thank you! Helped me out, really helped me out!

A classmate (who looks like an excellent student) says, sighing:

Yes, Lozhkin, you are not at all friendly with your head!

Lozhkin, shrugging his shoulders:

And I’m clean with her business relationship- I feed her, and she thinks!

Conversation with the teacher

Funny skits about school - whether you are organizing KVN or other fun events - are not complete without dialogues similar to those given below.

A teacher talks to a fashionably dressed high school student:

Lerochka, well done, you stopped being late for school!

Yes, Mary Ivanna, it’s all because of my mother.

Did she have an educational conversation with you?

No, she just bought herself some gorgeous Italian boots!

So what?

Like what? Now I get up first so I can put them on before mom! (Proudly walks away)

The teacher throws up her hands.

An elderly teacher sighs and says to her colleague:

I'll probably have to quit!

What are you saying? You are the best teacher in school!

I was completely overworked... I get on the tram in the morning, it’s full of people, I look up and say sternly: “Hello, sit down!”

Funny? Of course it's funny!

Funny skits about school are good because they are easy to perform and do not require exhausting rehearsals. The main thing is that your cheerful mood is conveyed to the audience!

Mitya, do you know what the word “super” means?

Well, yes, this is something so big that it cannot be bigger.

What about “hyper”?

And “hyper”... (Mitya rubs his forehead) Oh! This is what is more “super”!

Girls dancing at a disco:

Listen, don’t you know what mosol is?

Well, this is such a huge bone, they also put it in borscht. Why are you asking?

Yes, I heard a cool song here: “You my heart, You my soul...”

Music from a famous song performed by the group Modern Talking begins to sound on stage.

Petka with a huge “lantern” under his eye and his friend:

Petka, why are you covered in bruises?

Played snowballs with a girl!

So what?

So, it turns out, she’s from the youth handball team! And these guys don’t miss!

Incident in the locker room

Some funny scenes about school require the participation of extras. But they still won’t be difficult to stage.

The girls scream and drag the reluctant guy. The teacher stops them:

Stop! What's happened?!

One of the girls indignantly:

Lyutikov spied on us in the locker room!

The teacher, looking sternly at Lyutikov:

So what, did you like it?

Lyutikov is silent in confusion, then loudly says:

Girls in chorus, drawn out and offended:

How not?!

All funny scenes about school, as you understand, should be played sincerely and seriously. Minimal decorations won't hurt either.

You can place, for example, two desks and a blackboard on the stage to recreate the appearance of a classroom. If events happen during recess or on the way home, you can fantasize. For the “road home”, one tree or bench is enough. And a situation taking place in a school corridor can be played out in front of a large window in the background.

The main thing in these scenes is not to overload them with decorations. They are short, and therefore the emphasis should be on what the actor is saying, and not on what surrounds him at that moment.

To arrange skits in one concert, you can invite a presenter who will tell the audience where it is happening this situation. Fantasize, and your holiday will definitely be remembered and make the most wonderful impression!

L. Mishchenkova

"I am late..."

Characters

Anton is a late student.

A student who is late for class bursts into the classroom.

Anton. Sorry I'm late.

Teacher. We understood this. Explain why. What's happened?

Anton. Oh, what just happened!.. I’ll start in order. When I hear the alarm clock, I feel like I'm being shot.

Teacher. And you jump up right away?

Anton. No, I’m lying there like a dead man! That's why Kesha, my parrot, wakes me up. At exactly 7.30 he says: “ Good morning! It's time to get up." But yesterday it was Kesha's birthday, and I treated him to ice cream. And in the morning Kesha didn’t wake me up - he lost his voice, poor fellow...

Teacher. You say you've eaten too much ice cream. Interesting...

Anton. Well, that means... I left the house... And then an armed bandit attacked me!

Teacher. Horror! So what did he do?

Anton. Took away my homework!

Anton. Then I decided to help the old lady cross the street. And as soon as I got it to the middle, the traffic light broke! The light turned red and the cars drove without stopping. So we sunbathed in the middle of the street until the traffic controller appeared.

Teacher. This is the story... Tell me, Anton, is there even a word of truth in your story?

Anton. As many as two: I'M LATE.

"At a break"

Characters

Classmates:

The bell rings from class. Children sit on chairs along the edge of the stage: some with a book in their hands, some with games, starting a conversation among themselves.

Vitalik. All people are like people: during recess they rush around the corridor, and we sit in the classroom like crazy.

Masha. So we punished ourselves: we behaved badly, now we sit in class for a whole week.

Someone sneezes.

Dasha. What will we have now?

Andrey. Mathematics.

Lesha. I love mathematics... (Addresses Sergei.) What is your favorite subject?

Sergey. And my favorite subject is TV!

Anton. And mine is a tape recorder!

Yura. And mine is a computer!

Natasha. Do you have a computer at home?

Yura. Eat.

Natasha. You probably want to become a programmer?

Yura. No, a doctor.

Natasha. Ha, you got a “C” in “The World Around You”!

Masha. So what, Natasha, he’ll fix her! And what kind of doctor - surgeon?

Yura. No, dental: people have one heart, but 32 teeth!

Someone sneezes.

Masha. Do you remember, Katya, how Lyudmila Vladimirovna asks Yura in class: “Why do storks fly to Africa for the winter?”

Kate. I remember, I remember... What did you say then, Yura?

Yura. It’s clear that blacks want to have children too!

Sergey. Vitalik, did you get hit by your parents yesterday for leaving home from rhythm class?

Vitalik. Not that it was terrible, but the relationship deteriorated. Imagine, in the morning I hint to my father: “Dad, I saw in a dream that you bought me three servings of ice cream.” Usually he understands the hints, but then he says: “Great, you can keep them!”

Anton. Well, that's nothing yet. But my dad once gave me two slaps on the head.

Nastya. For what?

Anton. The first time because I showed the diary with “twos”. And the second - when he saw that it was his old diary!

Nastya. Well, why did you show it? It's my own fault. You need to be more careful with your parents. They forgot that they themselves were once children.

Kate. What time is it, Lesh?

Lesha. 10.20.

Kate. This means we have 10 more minutes to sunbathe before the lesson starts.

Dasha. Lyudmila Vladimirovna said there will be no extension today...

Sergey. Badly. I don't like doing homework with grandma. Lyudmila Vladimirovna immediately recognizes her handwriting.

Zhenya. One day I was doing my homework at home. And when I handed in the notebook, Lyudmila Vladimirovna grabbed her head: “It’s simply incredible that one person can make so many mistakes!” And I say: “Why alone? Together with dad! "

Someone sneezes.

Anton. I also didn’t go to an after-school program once. So Lyudmila Vladimirovna asks: “Admit it, Anton, who did your homework for you?”

And I answer: “I don’t know, I went to bed early yesterday.”

Masha. What I like most about the after-school program is drinking tea.

Andrey. Yes, great!

Masha. And my mother gave me a silver spoon and said: “Take it to class. If you drink tea, put a spoon in the cup. From it, from silver, all microbes die.”

And I say: “Mom, do you want me to drink tea with dead germs?”

Sergey. And I somehow shout: “Lyudmila Vladimirovna! My tea is unsweetened." And she: “Did you stir the sugar?” - “I stirred it.” - “Which direction?” - “To the right.” - “So the sugar has gone to the left!”

Anton sneezes and wipes his mouth with his sleeve.

Natasha. Anton, do you happen to have a handkerchief?

Anton. There is, but I'm sorry, Natasha, I don't lend it to anyone.

Masha. Listen, Lyosh, I want to ask you everything. When I pass by your windows, sometimes I hear your cat screaming in an almost human voice...

Lesha. I wash it.

Masha. I wash my cat too, but she doesn’t scream like that.

Lesha. Are you squeezing it out?

Masha. What a flayer you are, Lesha!

Lesha. You yourself are a flayer! But my cat doesn't have fleas. And you, Masha, better not forget to tell your mother that Lyudmila Vladimirovna is calling her to school!

Masha. And I already said, Lesha! “Mom,” I say, “we have a shortened parent-teacher meeting today.” And she asks: “How is this abbreviated?” And I answer: “Very simple: Lyudmila Vladimirovna, you, me and the director.”

L. TOAminsky

Sketch "Our cases"

Characters: teacher and student Petrov

Teacher: Petrov, go to the blackboard and write down a short story that I will dictate to you.

The student goes to the board and prepares to write.

Teacher(dictates): “Dad and mom scolded Vova for bad behavior. Vova was silent guiltily, and then promised to improve.”

A student writes from dictation on the board.

Teacher: Wonderful! Underline all the nouns in your story.

The student emphasizes the words: “dad”, “mom”, “Vova”, “behaviour”, “Vova”, “promise”.

Teacher: Ready? Determine which cases these nouns are in. Understood?

Student: Yes!

Teacher: Get started!

Student: "Father and mother". Who? What? Parents. This means the case is genitive.

Scolded someone, what? Vova. “Vova” is a name. This means the case is nominative.

Scolded for what? For bad behavior. Apparently he did something. This means that “behavior” has the instrumental case.

Vova was silent guiltily. This means that here “Vova” has the accusative case.

Well, the “promise,” of course, is in the dative case, since Vova gave it!

That's all!

Teacher: Yes, the analysis turned out to be original! Bring me the diary, Petrov. I wonder what mark you would suggest you set for yourself?

Student: Which one? Of course, an A!

Teacher: So, five? By the way, in what case did you name this word - “five”?

Student: In the prepositional form!

Teacher: In the prepositional? Why?

Student: Well, I suggested it myself!

AND. Butman

"Correct answer"

Characters: teacher and student Petrov

Teacher: Petrov, how much will it be: four divided by two?

Student: What should we share, Mikhail Ivanovich?

Teacher: Well, let's say four apples.

Student: And between whom?

Teacher: Well, let it be between you and Sidorov.

Student: Then three for me and one for Sidorov.

Teacher: Why is this?

Student: Because Sidorov owes me one apple.

Teacher: Doesn't he owe you a plum?

Student: No, you shouldn't have plums.

Teacher: Well, how much will it be if four plums are divided by two?

Student: Four. And all to Sidorov.

Teacher: Why four?

Student: Because I don't like plums.

Teacher: Wrong again.

Student: How many is correct?

Teacher: But now I’ll put the correct answer in your diary!

Scene "3=7 and 2=5"

Teacher: Well, Petrov? What should I do with you?

Petrov: And what?

Teacher: You haven't done anything all year, haven't studied anything. I don’t really know what to put on your report.

Petrov(looking sullenly at the floor): I, Ivan Ivanovich, was engaged in scientific work.

Teacher: What are you talking about? Which one?

Petrov: I decided that all our mathematics was wrong and... proved it!

Teacher: Well, how, Comrade Great Petrov, did you achieve this?

Petrov: Ah, what can I say, Ivan Ivanovich! It’s not my fault that Pythagoras was wrong and this... Archimedes!

Teacher: Archimedes?

Petrov: And he too, After all, they said that three is only equal to three.

Teacher: What else?

Petrov(solemnly): This is not true! I proved that three equals seven!

Teacher: Like this?

Petrov: But look: 15 -15 = 0. Right?

Teacher: Right.

Petrov: 35 - 35 =0 - also true. So 15-15 = 35-35. Right?

Teacher: Right.

Petrov: We take out the common factors: 3(5-5) = 7(5-5). Right?

Teacher: Exactly.

Petrov: Hehe! (5-5) = (5-5). This is also true!

Teacher: Yes.

Petrov: Then everything is upside down: 3 = 7!

Teacher: Yeah! So, Petrov, we survived.

Petrov: I didn't want to, Ivan Ivanovich. But you can’t sin against science...

Teacher: It's clear. Look: 20-20 = 0. Right?

Petrov: Exactly!

Teacher: 8-8 = 0 is also true. Then 20-20 = 8-8. It is truth too?

Petrov: Exactly, Ivan Ivanovich, exactly.

Teacher: We take out the common factors: 5(4-4) = 2(4-4). Right?

Petrov: Right!

Teacher: Then that’s it, Petrov, I’ll give you a “2”!

Petrov: For what, Ivan Ivanovich?

Teacher: Don’t be upset, Petrov, because if we divide both sides of the equality by (4-4), then 2=5. Is that what you did?

Petrov: Let us suppose.

Teacher: So I put “2”, who cares. A?

Petrov: No, it doesn’t matter, Ivan Ivanovich, “5” is better.

Teacher: Perhaps it’s better, Petrov, but until you prove this, you will have a D in a year, which, in your opinion, is equal to an A!

Guys, help Petrov.

AND. WITHEmerenko

"Folder under the mouse"

Vovka: Listen, I'll tell you a funny story. Yesterday I took the folder by the mouse and went to Uncle Yura, my mother ordered.

Andrey: Ha ha ha! It's really funny.

Vovka(surprised): What's so funny? I haven't even started to tell you yet.

Andrey(laughing): A folder... under your arm! Well thought out. Yes, your folder won’t fit under your arm, he’s not a cat!

Vovka: Why "my folder"? The folder is dad's. You've forgotten how to speak correctly because of laughter, or what?

Andrey: (winking and tapping himself on the forehead): Ah, I guessed it! Grandfather - under the arm! He himself speaks incorrectly, but he also teaches. Now it’s clear: dad’s folder is your grandfather Kolya! In general, it’s great that you came up with this - funny and with a riddle!

Vova(offended): What does my grandfather Kolya have to do with it? I wanted to tell you something completely different. I didn’t listen to the end, but you laugh and get in the way of talking. And he dragged my grandfather under his arm, what a storyteller he was! I'd rather go home than talk to you.

Andrey(to himself, left alone): And why was he offended? Why tell funny stories if you can't laugh?

"At science lessons"

Characters: teacher and students in class

Teacher: Who can name five wild animals?

Student Petrov holds out his hand.

Teacher: Answer, Petrov.

Student Petrov: Tiger, tigress and... three tiger cubs.

Teacher: What are dense forests? Answer, Kosichkina!

Student Kosichkina: These are the kind of forests in which... it’s good to doze off.

Teacher: Simakova, please name the parts of the flower.

Student Simakova: Petals, stem, pot.

Teacher: Ivanov, please answer us, what benefits do birds and animals bring to humans?

Student Ivanov: Birds peck mosquitoes, and cats catch mice for him.

Teacher: Petrov, what book about famous travelers have you read?

Student Petukhov: "Frog traveler"

Teacher: Who will answer how the sea differs from the river? Please, Mishkin.

Student Mishkin: The river has two banks, and the sea has one.

Student Zaitsev reaches out his hand.

Teacher: What do you want, Zaitsev? Is there something you want to ask?

Student Zaitsev: Mary Ivanna, is it true that people descended from monkeys?

Teacher: Is it true.

Student Zaitsev: That's why I see: there are so few monkeys!

Teacher: Kozyavin, please answer, what is the lifespan of a mouse?

Student Kozyavin: Well, Mary Ivanna, it depends entirely on the cat.

Teacher: Meshkov will go to the board and tell us about the crocodile.

Student Meshkov(going to the board): The length of the crocodile from head to tail is five meters, and from tail to head is seven meters.

Teacher: Think about what you are saying! Is it possible?

Student Meshkov: Happens! For example, from Monday to Wednesday - two days, and from Wednesday to Monday - five!

Teacher: Khomyakov, answer me, why do people need a nervous system?

Student Khomyakov: To be nervous.

Teacher: Why do you, Sinichkin, look at your watch every minute?

Student Sinichkin: Because I'm terribly worried that the bell will interrupt an amazingly interesting lesson.

Teacher: Guys, who can answer where the bird is flying with a straw in its beak?

Student Belkov raises his hand higher than everyone else.

Teacher: Try it, Belkov.

Student Belkov: To the cocktail bar, Mary Ivanna.

Teacher: Teplyakova, what are the last teeth a person develops?

Student Teplyakova: Inserts, Mary Ivanna.

Teacher: Now I will ask you a very difficult question, for the correct answer I will immediately give you an A plus. And the question is: “Why is European time ahead of American time?”

Student Klyushkin reaches out his hand.

Teacher: Answer, Klyushkin.

Student Klyushkin: Because America was discovered later!

"At math lessons"

Characters: teacher and students in class

Teacher: Petrov, you can hardly count to ten. I can’t imagine what you can become?

Student Petrov: Boxing judge, Mary Ivanna!

Teacher: Trushkin goes to the board to solve the problem.

Student Trushkin goes to the blackboard.

Teacher: Listen carefully to the problem statement. Dad bought 1 kilogram of sweets, and mom bought another 2 kilograms. How many...

Student Trushkin heads to the door.

Teacher: Trushkin, where are you going?!

Student Trushkin: I ran home, I have candy!

Teacher: Petrov, bring the diary here. I'll put your deuce in it yesterday.

Student Petrov: I don't have one.

Teacher: Where is he?

Student Petrov: And I gave it to Vitka - to scare his parents!

Teacher: Vasechkin, if you have ten rubles, and you ask your brother for another ten rubles, how much money will you have?

Student Vasechkin: Ten rubles.

Teacher: You just don't know math!

Student Vasechkin: No, you don't know my brother!

Teacher: Sidorov, please answer, what is three times seven?

Student Sidorov: Marya Ivanovna, I will answer your question only in the presence of my lawyer!

Teacher: Why, Ivanov, does your father always do your homework for you?

Student Ivanov: And mom has no free time!

Teacher: Now solve problem number 125 yourself.

The students get to work.

Teacher: Smirnov! Why are you copying from Terentyev?

Student Smirnov: No, Mary Ivanna, he’s copying it from me, and I’m just checking to see if he did it correctly!

Teacher: Guys, who is Archimedes? Answer, Shcherbinina.

Shcherbinin's student: This is a mathematical Greek.

Sketch "At Russian language lessons"

Characters: teacher and class students

Teacher: Let's hear how you learned your homework. Whoever answers first will receive a higher point.

Student Ivanov(pulls out his hand and shouts): Mary Ivanna, I will be the first, give me three at once!

Teacher: Your essay about a dog, Petrov, is word for word similar to Ivanov’s essay!

Student Petrov: Mary Ivanna, Ivanov and I live in the same yard, and there we have one dog for all of us!

Teacher: You, Sidorov, have a wonderful essay, but why isn’t it finished?

Student Sidorov: But because dad was urgently called to work!

Teacher: Koshkin, admit it, who wrote your essay?

Student Koshkin: Don't know. I went to bed early.

Teacher: And as for you, Klevtsov, let your grandfather come to see me tomorrow!

Student Klevtsov: Grandfather? Maybe dad?

Teacher: No, grandpa. I want to show him what gross mistakes his son makes when he writes an essay for you.

Teacher: What kind of word is “egg”, Sinichkin?

Student Sinichkin: None.

Teacher: Why?

Student Sinichkin: Because it is unknown who will hatch from it: a rooster or a chicken.

Teacher: Petushkov, determine the gender of the words: “chair”, “table”, “sock”, “stocking”.

Student Petushkov: “Table”, “chair” and “sock” are masculine, and “stocking” is feminine.

Teacher: Why?

Student Petushkov: Because only women wear stockings!

Teacher: Smirnov, go to the board, write down and analyze the sentence.

Student Smirnov comes to the blackboard.

The teacher dictates, and the student writes down: “Dad went to the garage.”

Teacher: Ready? We are listening to you.

Student Smirnov: Dad is the subject, went away is the predicate, to the garage is ... a preposition.

Teacher: Who guys can come up with a sentence with homogeneous members?

Student Tyulkina raises her hand.

Teacher: Please, Tyulkina.

Student Tyulkina: There were no trees, bushes, or grass in the forest.

Teacher: Sobakin, come up with a sentence with the numeral “three”.

Student Sobakin: My mother works at a knitwear factory.

Teacher: Rubashkin, go to the board and write down the sentence.

Student Rubashkin goes to the blackboard.

Teacher dictates: The guys caught butterflies with nets.

Student Rubashkin writes: The guys caught butterflies with glasses.

Teacher: Rubashkin, why are you so inattentive?

Student Rubashkin: And what?

Teacher: Where have you seen bespectacled butterflies?

Teacher: Meshkov, what part of speech is the word “dry”?

Student Meshkov stood up and remained silent for a long time.

Teacher: Well, think about it, Meshkov, what question does this word answer?

Student Meshkov: Which one? Dryish!

Teacher: Antonyms are words that are opposite in meaning. For example, fat - thin, cry - laugh, day - night. Petushkov, now give me your example.

Student Petushkov: Cat dog.

Teacher: What does “cat and dog” have to do with it?

Student Petushkov: Well, how? They are opposites and often fight with each other.

Teacher: Sidorov, why are you eating apples in class?

Student Sidorov: It's a pity to waste time during recess!

Teacher: Stop immediately! By the way, why weren't you at school yesterday?

Student Sidorov: My older brother got sick.

Teacher: What do you have to do with it?

Student Sidorov: And I rode his bike!

Teacher: Sidorov! My patience has run out! Don't come to school tomorrow without your father!

Student Sidorov: And the day after tomorrow?

Teacher: Sushkina, come up with a proposal with an appeal.

Sushkina's student: Mary Ivanna, call!

At entertainment events, educational institutions, funny skits for schoolchildren are most liked by the audience. The need to stage such scenes may arise at school KVN, class hour or performance competition amateur performances. Who is the script for schoolchildren talking about? Of course, about exactly the same students, poor students, excellent students, teachers, class teacher.

Surely the schoolchildren themselves will be interested in staging a couple of such skits. It's very easy to play yourself.

Script for a funny skit about schoolchildren "Los students"

This sketch contains an instructive story for schoolchildren about the importance of doing homework. Several elementary or middle school students take part in the funny production. They play the following roles: Kolya Petechkin - a poor student and a bully, Sasha Gavrilov - his bosom friend, Vitya Melnikov - an excellent student, two schoolgirls.

Props for the scene: a school desk with chairs, a wooden board, large prop buttons.

So, there is a desk on the stage. Two girls run out. Kolya Petechkin, chasing them, jumps out behind them with a plastic tube in his hands.

Girl 1 (shouting):
Stop it, Petechkin!

Girl 2:
Petechkin, stop it! Who are they talking to?

They are trying to hide from Petechkin at his desk.

Petechkin (selflessly spits papers through a straw):
And I will spit! And I will spit! La-la-la! I'm having so much fun!

Girl 1:
We need to do computer science, not mess around.

Girl 2:
Otherwise, Kolya, they will ask you today in computer science class, and you will get a bad mark!

(Both schoolgirls run away.)

Petechkin (stops spitting):
Computer science? That's right, the teacher promised to call me... What should I do? Oh, I'll try to get help from a friend! (Calls.) Sashka! Gavrilov!

(Sasha Gavrilov comes out.)

Gavrilov:
What do you want, Kolya?

Petechkin:
I need to copy computer science from someone. Maybe you can help a friend out?

Gavrilov:
I would be glad to help you, but, you know, what’s the secret: I didn’t do it myself.

Petechkin:
Eh, problem! How can that be, huh?

Gavrilov:
Do you know what?

Petechkin:
What?

Gavrilov:
Write to Melnikov.

Petechkin:
He won't give it.

Gavrilov:
How about you somehow manage...

(Vitya Melnikov appears with a notebook. He has an exemplary appearance, he wears glasses.)

Petechkin:
ABOUT! Melnikov! (Sarcastically.) Excellent student!

Melnikov:
Kolya Petechkin, poor student and truant! Gerasim, why did you drown Mu-Mu?

Petechkin:
I'm not Gerasim, I'm Nikolai.

Melnikov (sings with expression to the tune of a melody from the film “The Godfather”):
Why did Gerasim drown his Mu-Mu? She lay there and didn’t bother anyone! (He leaves proudly.)

Petechkin (following the departed Melnikov):
Oh, are you thinking of teasing? Well, I'll teach you a lesson. You'll let me write off computer science and the rest of my life...

Gavrilov (rubbing his hands):
Will it work on medications?

Petechkin:
No! He will be afraid of me! (Takes out a piece of a wide wooden board from behind the scenes.) This board will help me deceive him. Only you, Sanya, should help me in this matter.

Gavrilov:
Okay, what should I do?

Petechkin:
Confirm everything I say. (Puts the board under his sweater, presses it to his chest. Shouts backstage.) Hey, Melnikov! Come here! Melnikov! I'm telling you! Come here for a minute.

(Vitya Melnikov comes out.)

Melnikov (proudly):
What do you want, Petechkin?

Petechkin:
That's it, Victor, I have something to do with you.

Melnikov:
What business could you have with me?

Petechkin:
The most friendly. Help me out, eh? Don't let a person get lost. Let me write off computer science.

Melnikov:
Ah-ah-ah, that’s what you’re talking about. Do not even hope.

Petechkin (in a solemn bass voice):
Victor, then prepare to die! I’m not Kolya Petechkin, but you know who I am? You know? I am the Terminator!

Melnikov (dismissively):
What? You're completely crazy, aren't you?

Petechkin (pretentiously):
No. I just came from the future, from 2069. And I came with Miss...

Melnikov:
With what miss?

Petechkin (whispering):
Not with a miss, but with a mission. (Kolya corrects himself and continues calmly.) Yes, I came with a mission.

Melnikov (fearfully):
From which one?

Petechkin:
I must destroy you, since you know computer science well. And after many years you will know it so well that you will write a computer virus that will destroy all computers on the planet...

Melnikov (stammering with fear):
But I don't know how to write viruses...

Petechkin:
You will learn in the future. And no one will be able to cope with him, because you will program him high artificial intelligence. And no one will be able to unravel the algorithm of its action, because you don’t let anyone copy it. Therefore, no one can fight him.

In general, "hasta la vista, baby"!

(Pretends to pull the trigger of a machine gun and takes a militant pose.)

Melnikov (cringes):
Oh, don't! Spare me. I have a mother and little brother...

Petechkin (menacingly):
Spare?

Gavrilov (questioningly):
Maybe we'll spare him?

Melnikov:
And I want to ask, what feelings do you experience when you feel like a Terminator?

Petechkin:
Strength and power throughout the body. (Offers.) Hit me in the chest...

Melnikov (hitting the board hidden under his sweater):
Oh! (Grinces in pain.) You're like bulletproof! Why do you have bad grades in physical education?

Petechkin:
I'm pretending.

Melnikov:
Well, do you see how, somehow in a special way?

Petechkin:
I can see perfectly, even in the dark. Just ask me any question.

Melnikov:
Well, let's say... (Thinks.) How are you?

Petechkin (pretends, shakes his head):
And before my eyes, as if on the monitor of an invisible computer, several possible answers appear at once. The first option is “I’m a fool myself,” the second (reads a malicious rhyme) - “How are you, how are you, I laid an egg!” The third one is “none of your business.”

Melnikov:
And which one will you choose?

Petechkin (solemnly):
The fool himself!

Melnikov (offended):
Petechkin, why did you call me names?

Petechkin:
And in the future you will call me a fool, so I already answered you. That's how invulnerable I am.

Gavrilov:
So, Melnikov, will you let me write it off? Otherwise the Terminator will destroy you.

Petechkin (fiercely):
"Hasta la vista, baby!"

Melnikov:
Don't, don't ruin it! I'll let you write off computer science.

Gavrilov:
And mathematics. These sciences are interconnected...

Petechkin:
OK?

Melnikov (salutes):
That's right, Comrade Terminator.

(Petechkin waves his fists in front of Melnikov’s nose, demonstrating his muscles. Girls appear behind them. They place buttons on the chair.)

Girl 1 (to viewers):
Petechkin was spitting papers. So we will take revenge on him.

Girl 2:
Let's teach him a lesson! Let's put some buttons on his chair. Let him sit! (Both girls run away.)

Petechkin:
Now I can sit on a chair! (Plops down on a chair, immediately jumps up and yells.) Ahh!

Girls:
Ha ha! Serves you right, little chocolate! (They run away).

Melnikov:
So you're not made of iron? (He takes out a board from Kolya’s bosom.) Oh, that’s how you are! I won't let you write it off! You have to do your homework yourself! (Leaves.)

Gavrilov:
Eh, Kolka, next time we’ll have to do our homework ourselves.

Funny skit for schoolchildren "In class"

Classroom is the ideal place to stage this funny skit for schoolchildren. Moreover classroom teacher can personally participate in it, but any student can play his role.

Characters in the scenario: class teacher (KR); Alekseeva and Fedotova - glamorous blondes, laughing schoolgirls; Semyonov is a typical excellent student, a bore; Nikitin and Vovan are dull schoolboy hooligans; Samoilova is a slack, candy-on-a-stick student who is always late.

The scene begins. The class teacher enters the classroom.

KR:
Okay, okay, let's go. (Everyone comes in except Samoilova.) So, is that all?

Alekseeva:
What do you mean, no, of course not! (Samoilova comes in.) That’s it now!

KR:
And this is from the whole class? Where are the other 18 people? Can anyone explain where everything is?

Semenov:
Well, if we take into account everyone’s address, walking speed, terrain and force majeure circumstances, then 47% are already at home, and another 53% are on the road.

KR:
Yes, it’s clear to a physical education teacher that they left, the question is why did they leave?

Semenov:
Well, if we take into account the character of the majority, the number of lessons today and force majeure circumstances, then 100% missed the class hour.

KR:
Okay, Semenov, Alekseeva, Fedotova - this is understandable, decent students, but why did you come, Nikitin? And he brought another friend with him.

Semenov:
Well, if you consider...

KR:
Semyonov, shut up!

Semenov:
No, I just wanted to say that under no circumstances should you...

KR:
So, Semyonov, here’s a book for you, read it, take notes. So, Nikitin, what is your destiny here?

Nikitin:
And Vovan and I just turned off the lights, you can’t play on the computer, you can’t watch TV, so we came from idleness.

Vovan:
And I’m really, really interested in cool problems.

KR:
Well, Nikitin, you are seriously unlucky that your lights were turned off! Tell me, why did you check the fire extinguisher in the toilet on Thursday?

Nikitin:
Well, we were told that if there is a fire, we must immediately extinguish it with a fire extinguisher.

Vovan:
Yes, you need to simmer it right away.

KR:
So where did you get the idea that something was burning?!

Nikitin:
Well, it smelled like smoke.

Vovan:
Yes, it smelled.

KR (screaming):
As if you don’t know what kind of smoke our toilet smells like!

Nikitin:
What about this? No, if someone wanted to do this, they would have called me.

Vovan:
Yes, they would have invited him.

KR (after waiting):
All clear. I have no complaints about you, Vova, just a question for Nikitin, what is he doing on our class hour a student from another class at another school?

Nikitin:
Oh, I told you, our lights were turned off, and Vovan also had nothing to do, so I took him to have fun, I need to help my friends.

KR:
Have fun! Well, the students went. Now to other others. Samoilova, not bad. There are no twos, no threes, no fours either... no grades at all! Samoilova, when will you start going to school? What are you sick with this time?

Samoilova:
In the encyclopedia of diseases, I reached the letter “G”. I have a headache.

KR:
I would say that you have an inflammation of cunning, but this, as Nikitin says, is a button accordion!

(The class applauds.)

Fedotova:
You just have to learn “IMHO” and Preved Medved and everything will be in chocolate.

Semenov:
I finished reading, took notes, and you know, I think that considering...

KR:
You don’t need to take anything into account, you should generally try to teach less, answer, give the floor to other students...

Semenov:
Yes, but this is from one point of view, psychology says that...

KR:
There's only one way out. Read another book for Semenov, take notes.
So, let's hurry up, we only have 15 minutes before Semenov finishes reading, we need to hurry.
Alekseev and Fedotov also received complaints about you! You talk in every lesson!

Alekseeva:
Yes, we're just on topic.

Fedotova:
Yes, of course on topic. (Giggle.)

KR:
And you laugh in class.

Alekseeva:
Yes you!

Fedotova:
No way (Giggle.)

KR:
Draw in your notebook!

Alekseeva:
Well, if only it’s a drawing book (And both burst into laughter. Everyone looks perplexed, like “Why laugh?”)

KR:
(Coughing, indicating that it’s time for them to stop) Actually, in a chemistry notebook.

Alekseva:
(Scratching the back of his head, thinking about what to lie.) So these are the drawings.

Fedotova:
Yes, okay, what’s there to hide, the chemist is such a sweetheart, he allows us. (They laugh again.)

KR:
Okay, there’s not much time left, Semyonov is already finishing reading, so tell me, who will make the wall newspaper?

(Silence.)

KR:
I think Nikitin is with his friend.

Nikitin:
Why us?

KR:
Well, your lights have been turned off, so you have nothing to do.

Vovan:
And I'm from a different school altogether.

KR:
Never mind. You said yourself that you are interested in cool problems. Besides, you need to help your friends. Whatman paper is in the closet. I’ll go, and calm Semenov down yourself.

It doesn’t take much time to prepare these funny skits for schoolchildren. Words are learned very easily, and in some places you can even improvise. By the way, such humorous scenes are well suited for summer camp. Before lights out, you can have fun and remember your time at school.