How to decide for a new life. How to decide to start your own business. Where to find the tools you need

How do you feel about the changes in your life? Are you happy about them or are you afraid that they will bring something bad? This is a very important question.

Ultimately, it is he who decides whether you make your life the way you want it to be or not.
Take a look outside. Can you point out at least something that is not subject to change?

Many wondered "How to make up your mind and change your life"

And everything in this world is changing. Nothing is stable.

Even mountains and rocks grow and collapse. Even the universe is changing. Clinging to stability is one of the deepest human delusions. Trying to achieve stability, you are violating one of the fundamental laws of nature - the law of change.

One of the signs that you have broken this law is that suddenly change begins to enter your life.

How is it usually?

Until a certain moment, everything goes well: husband, family, work, position.

And suddenly everything in one fine moment begins to crumble. The husband leaves, gets fired from work, relatives fall ill, we ourselves begin to fall ill, something absurd happens to the children - in short, the world seems to be going crazy.

Everything is falling apart. This is a sign that the time has come to work with yourself. You sat still and overlooked the moment of change, not letting them into your life.

So you have a goal.

You have already defined it for yourself and want to implement it. What do you immediately encounter? To achieve ANY, even the smallest, goal, you need to do something, get up, finally, off the couch, and make changes in your life. Decide to change your life and finally begin to embody this decision.

A measured and monotonous life, even and smooth, not foreshadowing a distraction from the course, a turn from the intended and straight path. This is how we all live ...

All is well - and okay. The main thing is that it doesn't get worse ...

Most of us decide to make changes in our lives, when further, it is worse than ever: the fear of the obvious becomes more terrible than the fear of the unknown.

But after all, all life is built on progress, which is possible only thanks to our actions. Actions bring change. And here the circle closes, tk. progress is not possible without change. And how do our dreams and goals end up? Yes, nothing. Why change everything, and it will do.

There is no need to waste time and energy - wait until life comes to a crisis or stops at a dead end.

And if you find yourself in a crisis or a dead end, look at this situation as the last call: it's time to learn how to manage your life.

Better yet, start learning how to manage change without waiting for a dead end or crisis. Dream and fear are present at the beginning of any new business.

Will the dream cope with the fear of change?

This is the first question to be resolved. And decide not in words, but in deeds - in practice - to start changes, leaving further doubts.

In addition, we are not only afraid of change, we are also lazy to change something for the better in our life.

Let's take the simplest and most elementary things. It's time to relax, buy a car, clarify relationships or go on a diet - this is completely obvious to you. But you are still pulling rubber and postponing the moment of decisive action indefinitely.

Yes, all because laziness, a great force of inertia, it is easier to live on a knurled track, any changes are fraught with problems, or you simply do not have enough willpower to move in a fateful direction. How to spur oneself up and bring the will to a "working state"?

7 ways to change your life

Psychologists recommend using additional motivation methods that will help you get rid of fears, turn on self-control, and get closer to your dreams as soon as possible. Each of them is something good for a particular person and something bad, but on someone it may not work at all.

Therefore, choose a couple of techniques that are most suitable for you personally, join the game and do not expect instant results: this is possible only in dreams, but in life - every step towards the goal counts.

Positive visualization

This is a conscious representation in the mind of the desired object, event, state in the smallest detail, a kind of movie of your dreams.
The task is to present as vividly as possible the happy result of your efforts: how, to the applause of the collective, you get the position of the head of the department; how to march

Mendelssohn, marry the Man of your Dreams; how you accept enthusiastic compliments about your practically model figure.

Try to feel all the delight of what is happening, taste the beauty of victory and "preserve" positive feelings. This moment, even if it is lived in fantasies, will help to cope with the inner “I don’t want it or I can’t” - Whenever the willpower leaves you, recall the moment of your imaginary triumph in your memory and take a leap forward on the wave of positive emotions.

In addition, a picture of a bright future that has taken root in the subconscious usually stimulates a person's persistence, it is like a beacon that one wants to go to, no matter what.

The technique of positive visualization does not have to be directed immediately at a happy ending, it can be directed at some intermediate result of efforts, at a local dream. For example, you want to visit England.

So study its history, culture, nature through books and films. Imagine yourself on the streets of London and Liverpool. Savor the details.

Imagine taking pictures at the John Lennon Monument, making eyes at the sentry at Buckingham Palace. As soon as consciously and subconsciously this country becomes "yours", you turn on the will, earn money and do everything to go there.

"Scary Movie"

This is visualization the other way around.

Create in your imagination a "full-length video" of how terribly events will unfold if you do not do what you plan. You don't go to an important interview, you don't get a coveted vacancy. You will never again have a chance to apply for such a place.

You waste away on microscopic wages and boring jobs, retire with unfulfilled dreams and unrealized potential and die in poverty.

You involuntarily burst out: "Not this!" - so it worked.

Now go back to the beginning of the movie, when you’re okay, and think, maybe it’s worth a little more strain now to change the plot and ending of the picture? That is, gather your courage and go to this very interview, and the next one too. As scary as it is.

By the way, your "thriller" can be on any topic.

Wish card

Let's say you're craving to buy a car.

Cut out pictures with cars of the desired brand and color from the catalog, make a collage of them on a piece of cardboard, paste your photo into the driver's seat, frame the collage and hang it in a prominent place.

The picture-reminder of the desired contributes to the fact that the energy is accumulating and accumulating and one day it will break through - a volitional explosion will occur, which will allow you to get closer to the goal.

Prize

The expectation of praise and material reward stimulates our activity and initiative.

We are so selfishly arranged. However, for the fact that you, overcoming yourself, go out for a morning run, no one will write you an award and will not present you with an audience award for refusing a hearty dinner in favor of a light salad.

Then it makes sense to move on to self-promotion. Americans call this the joy principle.

• She took courage and expressed her complaints to the boss - smart girl, get a massage course.
• Courageously went on a diet and lost 4 kg in 2 weeks - well done! I give myself chic underwear.

And in order not to splurge on gifts for every victory or volitional effort, enter the "system of tokens" - their number and, accordingly, the reward will depend on how distinguished you are. This will make the reward system even more interesting.

Investment

For someone who is rich and seen to be a waste, this method of additional motivation is not suitable.

Set a goal for yourself and invest a large sum in it right away. For example, you want to replace belly fat with firm muscles, but you lack the willpower to start a serious workout.

Make a knight's move: buy an expensive simulator.

Now try to ignore this sports equipment. It won't work! If you do not practice, you will torment yourself with remorse for extravagance. It is material loss that will force you to hide willpower and muscles and, ultimately, will lead to your cherished goal - a slim figure.

Of course, this applies not only to sports. Having bought the most expensive linguaphone course, you will certainly start learning a foreign language, and having paid a big sum for the services of a nutritionist, you will definitely start to limit yourself in food and eat well.

You can check this by visiting the event.

Oath

Give it and sign it in blood!

About blood, of course, a joke, but if you are consistent and honest, it should work. Make a bet on something tangible with family members, such as quit smoking.

Thus, you will burn all the bridges to retreat: you will have nothing to do but, eradicating a long-term habit, forget about tobacco. Keep in mind that in case of failure, you will pay at a double rate: your self-esteem will decrease, the respect for you around you may drop, and you will bet your money.

What to do with "I can not" and "I do not want"

"Everything! This needs to be changed! " - some decide and immediately start to implement the plan. "Everything! This needs to be changed! " - others decide and ... do nothing.

There are serious reasons for such indecision, and they need to be dealt with so that they do not interfere with the implementation of plans.

This motivation is primarily responsible for the initial desire to want. She is responsible for the need for play, for entertainment, for structuring her time.

In psychology, there is such a thing as the ego state. So there are three ego states (parent, child and adult), each of them is responsible for a specific function.

Functions of the psyche:

The parent's function is to take care of oneself and others, teach and explain, control, observe social principles, rules, norms and prohibitions, approve and criticize, etc.

The function of the child is to want, desire, motivate us and act; to give life brightness and richness, the inner child is responsible for spontaneity and naturalness, to create new things, to create, fantasies and ideas.

The function of an adult is to be in a conscious state, negotiate, adapt, correspond to reality, consider desires, plans and events in general from the standpoint of common sense and benefit, analyze and calculate options, act in the most effective ways that a person knows.

If a person does not want anything, then most often there are problems with this type of motivation. Problems stem from the failure of the inner child.

Who is to blame for everything?

Social programming and parents in childhood suppress and deform the child's motivation by ignoring his spontaneous aspirations in his endeavors, his desires and needs.

Prohibitions. They are often the reasons why there are problems with this type of motivation. Someone was beaten on the hands, someone was constantly being told “no, bad, don’t climb, don’t touch, don’t walk, don’t try, it’s dangerous, etc.” with almost every action.

Thus, raising from a child an obedient slave with many prohibitions and social restrictions. And as a consequence of such negative upbringing, a lack of basic primary motivation is formed in adulthood. Such phrases form fetters with which a person can live the rest of his life if he does not know what and how to do.

Such changes occur both at the level of the psyche (psychic energy ends) and at the level of physiology (those parts and areas of the brain that are responsible for primary motivation, for the wish are de-energized).

“Primary motivation” can and should be “Included”. And then the suppressed, constrained energy will be released and energy and forces will automatically appear. Interest in life will awaken. The psyche will no longer block itself.

Must, Must, Must:

If a person was constantly told what and how to do. As a result of such upbringing, the skill of independence does not develop and the primary motivation is clogged or simply atrophies as unnecessary.

So that the psyche doesn’t go into raptures from conflicting needs and desires (when you want one thing, but they say to do another). It just turns off primary motivation. And a person has no desire to live his life as he wants. Instead, it is already dictated what a person "SHOULD" do, how "CORRECT" and what he "SHOULD" do.

What's the catch?

And even when a person achieves all that "SHOULD" - he does not feel any non-procedural, not final pleasure from the work done. It seems that I learned to earn money and some kind of relationship. But there is no one of the most important components for a happy life - there is no desire to live, to want, to know the world around and to get pleasure at the same time. And without this, life becomes boring, gray, and possibly "Correct", but it does not please.

Magic pill or is there something else ...

If there is no "primary motivation" - there is no energy and desire to want and do anything at all. In other words, there is no key to healing. And no matter what a person does, the car will not go until the keys are returned to the ignition again.

When this motivation works well, then you can engage in strategic planning - competently set goals and implement them. Because a person knows what he wants - he has a good contact with himself. Desires and needs awaken in him. Hands are itching to do something, there is a supply of strength and energy for the realization of desires. Life is moving in the right direction.

What to do?

In order for the primary motivation to work well - it gave vitality, motivation and interest in life. In this case, you need to work with the structures of emotional intelligence. It is necessary to restore the work of the inner child at the level of the psyche, and at the level of the body, conventionally speaking, “Turn on” those areas of the brain that have stopped working. That is, you need to re-launch the signals that are blocked.

It is necessary to make sure that those areas of the brain that are responsible for this primary motivation work, so that the psyche returns to the correct initial state, when everything is "OK". So that the desire to set and achieve goals was natural, the motivation to do this was formed not only and not so much consciously, but from the depths of the soul and body. Then life will be pleasing and fulfilling.

Sometimes we realize that we are completely stuck, that the life that we have is definitely not good enough for us. There may be many reasons for this: our relationship may fail, the work we are doing may get tired, the people with whom we have to deal may be disgusted, or it may happen that, like a match, the thought flares up in the brain that everything that is around is this is far from what we really need.

But regardless of the reasons prompting you to change, you can start all over again, having previously clarified everything and determined for yourself guidelines and a plan for changing yourself and your life. I sincerely hope that these 15 steps help you start a new life and change yourself.

Step 1. Determine the direction of movement and your motivation.

Your life is always a movement towards a certain goal, regardless of whether you realize this goal or not. Your previous life, which does not suit you, could be subordinated to someone else's false purpose, which contradicted your inner nature, your nature, your desires and your values. For example, you were in a relationship that you really didn’t need, or you got a job that you disgusted, or communicated with people who turned out to be completely strangers to you.

Now you can yourself determine which trajectory you should follow, now you are the master of your life path. Use the right motivation. Proceed from "Where am I going?" and not from "Why am I running?" Running away from something is not a useful motivation. Avoiding unpleasant feelings does not solve real-life problems. Emotions tend to follow you wherever you go. Therefore, you will have to deal with them before starting a truly new life.

How to develop a life strategy

Step 2. Free yourself from the severity of loss or defeat

Often, serious life events push us to start all over again. Divorce, breakups, career breakdowns, business ruin, job loss, health conditions. All this leaves a serious emotional imprint and can be a source of constant stress, anxiety, anxiety or even depression. You need to understand that making serious decisions with this baggage is very dangerous.

If a life event made you experience deep and strong emotions, then it takes time for everything to calm down. This gap can be shortened if you work through your experiences with the help within one or more sessions.

Step 3. Study your life

For the success of your enterprise at the beginning of a new life, it is not enough just to know where you need to move. It is also important to clearly know and clearly understand where you start from. Imagine that you are about to make a powerful dive into the water, but you are jumping from a very slippery shore. You spend strength and energy on a powerful jump, but at the decisive moment you slip and everything goes down the drain.

To prevent this from happening in your story, study your past life (it will also be useful to go through rapid test "Analysis of life"), write on paper and study your habits, your past patterns of behavior in different life situations (for example, how do you cope with difficulties or react to unexpected opportunities; how much you manage to follow your decisions, etc.).

Surely in the process of studying your past life and your behavior, you will notice a lot of things that you would not like to notice, which will cause rejection and internal resistance in you. But this is exactly what you should pay attention to in the first place.

“The darkness of low truths is dearer to us than the elevating deception,” said Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin. What, then, are “base truths”?

They are what you know about yourself, but what to know, and even more from others to hear, is unpleasant. What you drive away from yourself. Something that requires you to think about it makes you feel uncomfortable. And in general - to grow. Exalting deception is not conducive to growth. "Ryaba Chicken" is a film about low truths. I think that's why many people don't accept it.

Why was Chaadaev not accepted, why was he declared insane? Others categorically deny it even today. He was right in many ways, though. But he spoke of "low truths" that caused a feeling of discomfort, which was not customary to talk about. No one has ever been sent to an insane asylum for "uplifting deception." And they suffered enough for the "low truths". As a rule, it is for them.

And so not only in Russia - no one in the world needs a frightening truth. You need it to hide it. So that few know her and do not allow others to see her.

Konchalovsky A., Low Truths, M., "Top Secret" Collection, 1999

Step 4. Explore Your Values

Before making big and serious decisions about what your new life will be like, you should analyze your own life values. If you know what is most important to you, then based on your values, it will be easier for you to make the right decisions about how to start a new life and change yourself.

Take a piece of paper and write on it everything that you believe in, everything that you consider the most important and important in life, in relationships between people, what things make you think deeply or inspire. Look at what you do in life, what you like to do and ask yourself a simple question: "Why?", "What is it for?" The answers received can reveal to you completely unexpected facets of your personality.

You may also consider a few people (they may be living and familiar people, famous personalities or historical characters) whom you admire and ask yourself: what do I respect the most about them? Why? How can this play out in my own life?

Step 5. Decide what big changes you want to make

For some people, starting a “new life” can mean a radical change: moving to another city or another country, completely renewing social ties, changing professional area, etc. For others, it can mean small but significant changes, such as liberation from old habits or behaviors and focus on developing new lifestyles. Whatever your desire, make sure you clearly understand how big a change you want to make.

Find out what needs change in your life. For example, is there something that makes you unhappy or unhappy? Or can you decide to change every aspect of my life for me, or would it be more appropriate to focus on one or two areas? Remember that change (especially when done without support) is always difficult, so to be successful, start small and work your way up.

Step 6. Create an image of your new future

Do one useful exercise to help you figure out what goals and objectives to set for yourself and what changes need to be made. It also gives you the motivation you need and strengthens your commitment to change.

Imagine a certain moment in the future. Let this moment have the exact date and time. Imagine that in this future, you have received magical power to achieve all your hopes and dreams. You are exactly who you want to be.

Imagine this in as much detail as possible. Who is around you? Where do you live? What are you doing? What does it look like? Include as much detail as possible to create the clearest possible image. One of my clients imagined that he is a successful designer, he has his own studio, interesting orders come to him from all over the world and he travels a lot to other countries, doing interesting and amazing things (in reality, after a couple of years he really founded his studio and became receive overseas orders).

Now think about your strengths, abilities and skills that are required to make this vision of the future a reality. What do you already have? What areas need improvement? Be honest with yourself. For example, if you want to be a famous musician, then perhaps you already have musical talent, or at least a love of music. You will also need a stronger mindset to work on improvements.

Using your imagination to create an image of the future, make this image reachable and positive. Obviously, you cannot become a superhero or the owner of any superpowers and super-powers. Here you better think about what attracts you to such a superhero. His pursuit of justice and protection of the weak? Then you can choose for yourself a profession that contributes to the fulfillment of this mission. Or do you like the ability to make quick and error-free decisions? Then imagine how you should train your thinking to reach that level.

Step 7. Set clear and specific goals

The famous sage Lao Tzu said: a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. And your journey into a new life should also begin with concrete steps. Setting clear personal goals will help you move forward confidently and stay on course to build a new life.

Think about where you see yourself in 6 months, a year, 3 years, 5 years, 10 years, 20 years, 30 years or more.

Set your goals. Make sure that these are the right goals, that is, they are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and have a clear time frame.

Start by defining your big goal and then break it down into smaller ones. Then break down the smaller goals into tasks.

For example, if you decide that you want to find your own business and make it a source of your income, this is your common goal. To achieve it, you need to achieve smaller goals. For example, first of all, you should contact a professional who will help you find the business that suits your purpose (for my clients this service is included in the program «» ), then you need to draw up a marketing plan and conduct research on the target audience. Examples of tasks here can be: creating a test product, researching people's needs and their willingness to use this product, studying competitors and their products, analyzing the market, etc. You can split these tasks even further, for example, set yourself the task of communicating with potential customers or going to places where products are sold (services are provided) similar to the product that you are going to provide.

Step 8. Determine the required internal changes

In order for your project of a new life to be crowned with success, you should carefully think about what internal changes you should make to your own personality. In other words, you need to define who you BE in order to successfully DO what will allow you to HAVE another life.

Let's see with you what kind of internal changes it can be.

It can be changes in your physical condition... Perhaps you decide that you should enter into a new life with a new body. You may want to lose weight or improve your fitness level, get a more athletic and developed body. Do not forget that excess weight depends on 2 main reasons: slagging of the body and a low level of vital activity.

I recommend that you start by increasing your level of physical activity and do it gradually, building up the load over a long period of time (at least 45 days), so that it becomes a habit for you. You may need the help of a counselor to develop an optimal program and change the beliefs and mental attitudes that interfere with changing the body.

It will be easier with a change in appearance. You can choose your style yourself or consult a stylist. Buy new clothes, change your hairstyle. Remember that how you dress and how you look affects how you feel and how others perceive you. Research has proven that when you dress in a way that aligns with your goals, you are more likely to achieve them.

Alignment changes... This is about the well-known expression "You can take a girl out of the village, but you cannot take the village out of the girl." If you do not want to be this most notorious "girl", then you have to work hard on how you think and how you perceive the world.

Think about what beliefs the person you want to become should have, how this person should perceive the world, people, events, relationships. What principles and rules it should be guided by. Explore the list of ,to get about a completely new way of looking at the world.

Changing your own consciousness is not an easy process. The power of habit, old patterns and inertia of thinking can form the core of your personality. Under the program «» we spend with our clients so that a person can see his true nature and find his real self. After this process, any changes in consciousness with the help of any psychotechnics are much faster and easier.

Emotional changes... For your new life to be successful, you need to learn to let go of your past. This includes being able to forgive. Forgiveness frees you from the burden of past trauma and pain. You do not forgive others for them, but for yourself. Research shows that forgiveness makes you feel less angry and anxious. Also learn to accept defeat and loss as part of life, pass them through the “sieve” of awareness and let go. And you will feel great relief.

Change the way you approach life with the power of gratitude. Learn to thank life for any of its manifestations, remember that difficulties on your life path are trials, not punishments. Accept them as well as everything good that happens to you.

Research has shown that the practice of gratitude makes you feel happier and more content with life; it will help you master flexibility and adaptability to changes; will improve your physical health and sleep quality, and can help you overcome emotional trauma. Practice the power of gratitude for 5 minutes every day 1 or more times.

Step 9. Redefine your relationships with people

The world is about people, and life is about relationships between people. It is difficult to start a new life if there are toxic people around you who drag you down. In some cases, it is necessary to "cut" such people from your life in the interests of your own safety. Other times, you can simply stop spending time with them and you will feel happier by removing them from your life.

Interpersonal relationships are critical to your functioning and improvement as a person. Numerous studies show that we strongly influence the people we interact with, so when starting a new life, take into it only those people who are important to you and will give you the love and respect you deserve.

One of my clients, having decided to start a new life and start their own business, faced numerous difficulties, the reasons for which, as it turned out, lay in the fact that his so-called. “Friends” were people not inclined to independent actions and taking responsibility. They are used to living a measured, stable and dull life and communicating with them my client unwittingly received nourishment for those parts of his personality that resisted the risks and dangers of entrepreneurial activity. In practice, this led to the fact that "business did not start." My client needed a serious rethinking of the role of these people in his life in order for the situation to change and his business to start growing and developing.

The following anecdote illustrates this situation very well:

The old devil drowns three cauldrons with sinners in hell. A young imp is sent to him for practice.

Young Imp. The Old Devil teaches him:

- So, look - the first cauldron. He must be carefully monitored. Jews are sitting here. If at least one gets out, he will drag all his own people with him ...

Second boiler. Here you can keep an eye on the lid with half an eye. The Americans are sitting here, they have every man for himself, one will run away - it's not scary, it won't go far anyway.

You don't have to look at the third cauldron at all. The Russians are sitting here. If at least one gets out upstairs, the rest will grab them and put them in the hottest place.

Clear your space of people:

• with whom you feel empty or constantly stressed
• who constantly criticize or condemn you. And you feel like you can't do anything right when you are around them.
• who say bad things about you to your face or behind your eyes
• around whom you do not feel safe to share your hopes, thoughts, needs or feelings.

Eliminating unhealthy social relationships will help you move forward more confidently and many times faster towards a happy and healthy life. Building a supportive social environment that does not include your past habits is critical to ensuring your successful journey. Surround yourself with people next to whom you will grow as a person and develop in the direction of a new life.

Step 10. Start a new financial life

Regardless of whether you just graduated from college or have been working for 30 years, it is never too early or too late to start your financial life anew. You may want to start saving for meaningful life goals, such as buying a house or getting a comfortable old age. Or perhaps you want to reconsider your spending habits in order to stop littering to the left or to the right. Or you might want to invest. Take a look at your goals and decide how you need to manage your money to get what you need.

Try to get rid of all your debts first. Debts - they are from the same life. There is no place for them in a new life. One of my clients, after we worked with her, got rid of 90% of her debts in less than 6 months. If you have more debts than you can pay, then the current legislation allows you to carry out personal bankruptcy proceedings. Perhaps this will be the right option for you.

Then analyze your finances. Structure income and expenses, start budgeting. See where you can reduce leaks (for example, buying unnecessary things), and where you can get additional money (for example, selling things that you do not use through the avito.ru service). Either way, keeping a budget will give you good financial decisions.

Step 11. Talk to people

When you decide to start a new life, it can be very useful to talk with people who are already living the life you want. This is useful because it can give you an idea of ​​how to get there. For example, if you want to put aside boring, disgusted work and do the business that you love and that you are interested in, then you just need to look for those people who have already done business in your favorite business and take, for example, an interview with them, during which in detail ask about their roadmap. Perhaps some of these people will agree to become a Mentor for you on the way to a new life.

You can also ask people about the difficult moments that may arise in your new life. You may be captivated by illusions about a new career, new relationship, new business, or a new country. Understanding the smallest details that others will tell you will allow you to avoid many mistakes and incorrect movements.

For example, you may dream of leaving your boring job in Moscow and going to Bali, where life is paradise. If you hang out with people who already live there, you may discover things you don't know about, such as how incredibly expensive it is, unfriendly visa policies, difficulties with healthcare, difficulty in doing activities that require concentration. Of course, this does not mean that you should not move, but this knowledge will help you better adapt to the realities of your new life.

Step 12. Get support

Starting a new life can be a daunting prospect. Surround yourself with people who love and respect you and can help and support you along the way. Knowing that you have sources of emotional support will help you feel much more powerful as you face the realities of your new life.

If you do not have a family or reliable companions who can support you, then it makes sense to look for such support elsewhere. This can be support within groups or communities of interest, or even religious communities. Go to a place where people communicate freely and openly with each other and make new acquaintances.

Step 13. Test yourself

The big life changes that are needed to start a new life will require serious work, dedication and patience from you. This can be stressful and intimidating. Make sure you are ready for this. How are you feeling? What behavior is acceptable for you? Are you worried about anything? Keeping a journal will help you understand your emotions and determine if there are areas where you need additional support or that require deep study.

The process of major and profound changes in life can often cause feelings of depression. You may become sad, stop enjoying certain things, feel anxious or guilty, feel empty or hopeless inside. In this case, you can quickly and painlessly help . Working with this technology allows you to eliminate negative emotional feelings during one session.

Step 14. Make the necessary changes

A new life will not mean that difficulties, obstacles and problems will disappear forever. Starting a new career does not mean that you will never feel underappreciated or uninspired again. Moving to a new city or a new country does not mean that you will never be homesick. When you have problems, admit them and do what you need to do to resolve them and adapt to the situation.

You can face a lot of difficulties on your way to a new life. For example, you may have wanted to pursue a military career to live up to your values ​​of service and honor, but learned that you are not fit to enter a military academy. You could see this as the failure and failure of your dreams, or you could go back to the drawing board and determine if there are other things you can do that will also allow you to express these core values.

Step 15. Work with a consultant

Even if you don’t think something is going “wrong” in the process of building your new life, it can be helpful to consult a counselor or personal trainer, especially when it comes to major changes. The fact is that such a difficult process as starting a new life and changing oneself can contain a variety of mistakes and hidden obstacles that can only be seen from the outside. A good consultant is able to give you high-quality feedback and save you from wasting time, effort and resources.

Another point is that deep personal change is always accompanied by stress and internal resistance (self-sabotage). Sometimes they are so strong that they give up and lose all desire to move forward. With the help of a consultant, you can work out and get rid of the inner fears that are blocking change. A counselor can also help you learn useful ways of thinking and responding to challenges.

Seeking a counselor is a sure sign that you love and care for yourself enough to get help when it is needed and helpful, and this is good news. A personality change counselor plays the same role for you as a dentist does for your teeth: you fix minor problems and complications before they become disastrous.

Start a new life today!

After reading this article, you may decide: “Ok, this is all great! I will definitely take these recommendations into consideration and even begin to follow some of them. " But the fact is that the process of change is a systemic process, where everything is clearly connected with each other and each step affects the other. It is important not to be mistaken here.

You want to know how to start a new life in which there will be self-realization, high meaning, activity, motivation, strength, leadership, new discoveries, energy, exciting changes, an interesting game, new horizons, pleasure from the lived moment, a clear understanding of your own path, lack of self-sabotage and insecurity , clarity of intention and action? And at the same time you will not make gross mistakes and avoid many "pitfalls", and the path itself will take several months instead of tens of years.

Then . I will give you a solution!

It is often difficult to make a decision to leave a stable job, even if it is exhausting and monotonous. People try to keep their world in their comfort zone to the last. But due to the fear of the unknown, we lose opportunities for development. Ilya Nikitenko, founder and executive producer of the Praktikum online school, talks about how you can start your own business with minimal losses for yourself - psychological, temporary and material

A year ago, I made the decision to quit my hired job, where I worked for ten years, and start my own business. If in your head the thought that it’s time to change something in your life, then you have to leave.

Why leave?

1. You will not be able to give all your best at work, all your thoughts will be focused on internal conflict.

2. Your satisfaction with life will drop every day.

3. You are a destructive employee for your company. Even without noticing it, you influence the people around you. You express your dissatisfaction with your superiors, challenge tasks, prove that you are smarter than the boss. Here I will upset you: if you are so smart, then why are you not the boss yet?

4. Your mood will be transmitted to your family and loved ones.

5. You will start to get sick for no apparent reason, simply because your body will not want to go to work.

Congratulations, now you understand that it is time to leave and start your own business. I will say right away that it will not be easy. All the problems are in your head, if you cannot find joy in any business, then a job change will not help. But, I will hope that this is not your case, and you want to leave for objective reasons.

Now answer yourself honestly three questions: Why? How? What?

1. Why do you want to do your business? What's the big idea or mission that drives you? It is important not to move on to the next questions without answering these.

2. How are you going to do it?

3. What exactly are you going to do?

Many people ask themselves these questions in the sequence What - How - Why. In this case, you will understand what you will do, you will know how to do it, but you will not know why. Why - this is what will move you forward, regardless of any difficulties.

You answered all the questions, understood that you are ready, what to do next?

1. Burn the bridges. Apply for resignation and do not leave yourself the opportunity to come back.

2. Objectives. Seneca said: "There are people who live without any purpose, walk in the world like a blade of grass in a river: they do not walk, they are carried." Many articles have been written about the importance of a goal, I will not delve into the process of goal-setting, I will only say that you need to sit down and write out your main goal for the year; for six, three and for the next month. Write down specific steps and tasks that you will take to achieve your goal, set a time frame and start acting.

3. Discipline. No matter how strongly you are motivated to build your own business, there will come times when you want to sleep longer or shift things to tomorrow.

I recommend that you formulate your ideal of discipline. Write down the points what you will do every day so that your discipline is 10 points out of 10. For example: I will get up at 6:30, do exercises or run, take a contrast shower, have breakfast, turn off the phone for 4 hours, and so on. And try to achieve perfect discipline every day. The moment you face difficulties, you will have discipline, you will not give up your goal.

4. Training. You, as the founder of your future business, need, if not to be an expert in different fields, then at least have an idea of ​​how and what works, so I left a list of books for you under the article. #mustread and helpful resources #mustvisit.

5. Environment. Your environment shapes your way of thinking. Set a goal to meet ten successful business owners in your industry, arrange a personal meeting, prepare a list of questions and a self-presentation in which you can tell how you can be useful. Listen to your interlocutor carefully.

Sometimes it seems that everything in life is not going as it should, thoughts are randomly scattered in the head, and doubts about the correctness of our actions torment every day and haunt us. Something needs to be changed. But what? How to start a new life so that relatives are proud, others respect, and self-esteem, like a phoenix, is reborn from the ashes? To do this, you need to work hard on yourself. In this article, I will give you 30 practical tips for starting a new life.

Life is wonderful, isn't it? We are constantly reminded of this by our inner voice, which so loves to give us hints. If you have a sudden desire to start a new life from scratch, do not drive it away. On the contrary, treat it as a sign that it's time to raise the sail of your own frigate called "Life" and start moving forward with renewed vigor.

Many successful people started out by working on their own development. 1% talent and 99% labor are the secret to true success. Don't be afraid of change. We must act decisively and irrevocably.

After all, starting to change for the better is so interesting and exciting ... It is a challenge to positive emotions and motivation to conquer new heights. The advice that I offer you in this article, I hope, will make you at least think about your priorities and habits.

• Spend time with “those” people.

You should not waste your life on those who squeeze every last drop of juice out of you. You will always be taken care of by the one to whom you are dear, the one who wants you to have a place in his life. And he will do everything to make you feel comfortable with him. Be sure to give gifts to such people - this is one of the manifestations of love. Pick up gifts.

It is worth remembering that good friends are those who stay with you even if your affairs are very bad, and not those who are eager to support you when everything is cool with you. Life is too short to waste your time with the “wrong” people.

• Solve your problems, don't run away from them.

Learn to take a blow of any force. Go out one on one with a problem and give it a heat, blow it to smithereens. Life does not tolerate the weak. Therefore, it teaches us by knocking us down until we adapt.

Of course, we will not be able to solve absolutely all problems, but trying to do something is within the power of everyone. We may have to fall more than once, but we fall only in order to rise.

• Don't be afraid to be wrong.

Better to try and make a mistake than to do nothing at all. Whoever tries to be smart about the need to draw conclusions from the mistakes of someone else and learn from them, remember that we learn only from our mistakes, not from others.

Any failure can lead you to success, and any success is fraught with traces of past failures.

• Don't try to imitate someone.

Being yourself is so much cooler. This world drives everyone to dance to one tune, trying to make sure that no one is any different from each other. Therefore, most people work hard to be like their idols, acquaintances or someone else.

Everyone has their own life. Yes, someone will always be more beautiful than you, someone younger, and someone smarter, but all of them will never be you. Someone who values ​​you will always love you for being who you are. Therefore, you should not try to change yourself to someone's joy.

• Let go of the past forever.

There is no need to cling to it. It is impossible to change what was. You wondered how to start all over again, remember? So, you will never be able to start in a new, as long as you hold on to the old. A new chapter of a book begins only when the old one ends ...

• Be honest with yourself.

It is possible to start a new life and improve it at times only when we take risks, and the first and most difficult thing for us is not to lie to ourselves.

• Unlearn to push your personal needs into the background.

Remember, you and your life are exceptional. Uniqueness should get a chance for development. That's what is really scary - to forget about your uniqueness and put all your strength into love for someone else.

No, you shouldn't leave those you love. Just don't forget about yourself. Learn to find time for yourself and ... create, do what is really important to you, without stopping at anything.

• Never beat yourself up for making mistakes.

Life, throwing us more and more tests, makes us wrong. Someone scolds himself for having fallen in love with the wrong person, but someone for having committed some stupidity ... Look at this from a different, positive angle. It is worth starting to think differently.

If you had not made a mistake once, you would not have met your spouse, you would not have got a good job today, or you would not have lived where you live now ...

There are many examples, but the essence is the same. You are you, here and right now, not your mistakes that were once committed. You have a great chance to start building your future. So start finally demolishing bricks to the construction site!

• Give up all attempts to buy yourself happiness.

It's impossible! Such simple things as love, joy, laughter, work on your own feelings are absolutely free.

• Stop looking for someone to find happiness.

Deal with your cockroaches in your head first. You need to start creating stability in your life. You will not become happier in a relationship until you are happy with yourself, with your personality.

• Stop messing around.

It won't get you anywhere. Life does not like lazy people. Take action now. Your whole life is a movement, and I explained this clearly and easily in one of my articles. and draw conclusions.

Do what makes you feel good about yourself ...

One must go into a new life with a willingness to work and plow. Don't hesitate to make decisions. Do not think too long, otherwise out of the blue you will draw yourself another problem, which might not have been. Act decisively and take risks where you can.

• Do not torment yourself with doubts that you are not ready for something.

Let me tell you a little secret: no one feels 100% ready for anything. We stop feeling comfortable as soon as we see serious opportunities in front of us. We experience discomfort at the level of thinking. That's the way a person is.

• There is no need to get involved in a relationship with the bay-flounder, just like that.

I'm talking about love. Take your time to choose a person. Consider, weigh all the pros and cons, evaluate your feelings and feelings, and only then make your choice. Relationships are built wisely, not haphazardly.

Dive into the waters of love when you feel ready, not at the first inner urge of loneliness. Depression can be fought. How? Read on.

• There is no need to whip up a fever and send new relationships to the devil when the old ones did not work out.

It's just that you have not yet met someone who will love you for being “just that”.

• Don't look at everyone as competitors.

Life is so arranged that someone will always be more successful than you. You need to start developing a new strategy, focusing on your own achievements. Fight with yourself, not with someone else.

• Don't be jealous.

• Stop complaining about everything and feeling sorry for yourself.

Life rolls the dice for you. Thanks to these cubes, she guides you along one way or another. By constantly complaining about something, you can miss a lot of important things.

You need to understand and wind up everything that is happening around. And by constantly complaining, you will lose concentration and immerse yourself in a world of eternal problems. Show people that you are doing well by smiling often.

• Drive hate away.

Taking offense at someone and hating him all your life is only to your detriment. I even advise you to delete the word "hate" from your vocabulary. It only attracts negative energy. Do not forgive the hurt, but just forget about it, and you will find peace.

• Don't stoop to the level of others.

The bar should always be held and worked to raise it.

• Don't strain yourself into explanations.

A friend doesn't need them, and the enemy just won't believe you. Do not waste time and energy on this.

• Learn to stop and think in time.

No need to run in circles. Stop, figure out "what is what and how," and decide what to do in this situation. Protect yourself for a while from what is happening and true thoughts will visit you.

• Don't neglect the simple little things.

Life is full of pleasant little things - enjoy them. In the future, you will treat these memories as important moments in your life.

• Do not try to bring everything to perfection.

You can do better, but not perfect. Then again you want to improve what you have already improved, etc. You end up wasting a lot of time.

• Don't go around obstacles.

Be extraordinary and choose the hard path instead of the easy one if your goal is success. Life does not give gifts to those who follow the path of least resistance.

• Don't pretend that everything is fine if it isn't.

No one is capable of being strong all the time. Pay if necessary. The sooner you do this, the sooner you smile again. It is always pleasant to give a "new" smile to people.

• Don't blame others for problems.

You yourself are responsible for your life and actions. The dream will never come true if you constantly lose control of your sense of responsibility.

• Don't burn yourself up trying to be everything to everyone.

Please only one person and his world can change ...

• Don't worry in vain.

Frequent excitement strongly affects the nervous and cardiovascular system. Nothing will change from your worries. Save yourself and your precious nerves. ...

• Learn to focus only on what you really want.

Put all unnecessary thoughts aside and focus on positive thinking. It can move cities. Anyone who believes that every day can bring happiness, over time, notices that it is.

• Don't be ungrateful.

Even if your affairs are bad, say "thank you" at least for the fact that you are alive and you have a roof over your head and bread for tomorrow.

Life is an interesting thing. She constantly tests us for strength and endurance. The weak become strong, the strong become weak, and the loafers continue to discuss both. Appreciate the moments and develop spiritually, friends.