Overwhelmed by happiness. Boris Pasternak. In the smoke of suppressed desires People will be drawn to you

Fierce Name of the Motherland

Anthology of poets of the Stalin era

(project idea, compilation, introductory remarks - Andrey Pustogarov)

Application

Attached are poems by three great Russian poets - contemporaries of the Stalin era. They overcame this era, each paying his own price. Only they, who have overcome, can judge it.

"IN THE SMOKE OF SUPPRESSED DESIRE"

BORIS PASTERNAK (1890 - 1960)

Boris Pasternak had a large account of the pre-revolutionary regime. The main thing was that, in the words of Burns and Marshak, "the love of a slave to wealth and success." Therefore, the old world has reached a dead end in world wars. At times it seemed to Pasternak that from these military families, from a shriveled fetus covered with blood and mucus, a healthy, happy person would eventually form. But illusions about the Soviet regime were dispelled after the "writers'" trip in the 32nd to the Urals, which were starving after collectivization. Unlike his fellow writers who brought new poems, Pasternak returned with a nervous breakdown. In this nervous breakdown, he could well have dreamed of the famous telephone conversation with Stalin, for which there are no reliable witnesses, when Pasternak told the leader that he would like to talk "about life and death." It looks like for him the power of the "genius of deed" and the "abyss of humiliation, a defiant woman" pulled together in a knot, just like in the half-childish impression described in the "Security Letter": in iron, only a prisoner ... "
And it was easier for Pasternak to talk about anything with Stalin than with his henchmen. And it was not the tragic Stalinist period that killed him, but the “selfish” Khrushchev era.

From the poem "Spektorsky"

Poetry, do not compromise on breadth.
Keep Precision Alive: Precision of Mysteries.
Do not deal with dots in a dotted line
And do not count the grains in the measure of bread!

Perplexed by the copper gun
Restrict your breathing and ask the reader:
Is it really alive in the scope of that picture,
Does he believe in the reality of an individual?

And, therefore, the place will show me, wherever,
Like a dummy, without being touched by anyone,
The dumb sky would not have died in those days
In the streams of blood and Chateau d'Ikem?

It did not clung to any Spektorsky,
Didn't crave for anyone's metamorphosis,
Wherever they go by office headings
The later bard and censor did not take it.

It grew as a glass outpost
And from the doomed he did not take his eyes off
By inspiration, not by charter,
That the class wins the unit.

There are days: black and purple cone
The sky will jump over the scuffle,
And the air is quiet in a flash too violent
And the sleigh rub against his underside.

And the accumulated letters are burning in the stoves,
And the clouds are gloomy and do not wait for love,
And everything would go down as a fairy tale, we don't wake up
And don't interrupt the world.

Happens: after having rested in confessions,
The time is snowing in November,
And the day slips stealthily like an exile
And this day is a gap in the calendar.

And in the cinnabar of the Renskoy sun
Frost smokes like wine and bread,
And these are the days of bastard offspring
In the heat and truth of indirect destinies.

Hiding these preferences somewhere
He does not know the age on what he sleeps, lazy.
The sun sets, the shadows lengthen
The older the days, the more these secrets.

Suddenly the cry of some girl in the closet.
The door is shattered, movement, tears, ringing,
And the yard in the smoke of suppressed desires,
In the bare feet of flying banners.

And the one that buried in an apron, tormented,
Deep shame, now, maddened,
Flies into the gap of open advantages
On the crest of endless degrees.

Days, moments, days, and suddenly a single shift
The event disappears behind the wall
And it seems to you from there like a yoke
And lies in a dead ice crust.

Along the way, it turns out: in the world
There is no dust without a speck of kinship:
Children living along with life -
Yards and women, jackdaws and firewood.

And now the dawn loses the child's shame.
Breaking the window with a kick of his heel
She flies into the hands of the rabble
And on her arms for the clouds.

A filial collar dives behind her.
It’s not a profit for him to stay here.
And the sky goes away with all the camps
Roofs doused with snow serum.

You're lonely. And again trouble is knocking.
Gone left the protocol,
That you and life are old things
And loneliness is rococo.

Then you're screaming. I'm not a joke to you! Violence!
I lived like you. But the review is a foregone conclusion:
The story is not what we wore
And in the way they let us in naked.

From the poem "Waves"

***
You are near, the distance of socialism.
You say - close? - Amid tightness,
In the name of life, where we met -
Ferry, but only you.

You smoke through the smoke of theories
A country without gossip and slander,
Like an outlet and an outlet to the sea,
And exit to Georgia from Mljet.

You are the land where women are in Putivl
Zegzits do not cry henceforth,
And I will make them happy with all the truth,
And she doesn't have to look away.

Where these both breathe side by side
And the hooks of passion do not creak
And do not give the remainder of the fraction
To the trouble of the children born.

Where I don't get change
A bargaining chip from being,
But I only mean what I spend
And I spend everything that I know.

More than a century - not yesterday,
And the strength is the same in temptation
In the hope of fame and good
Look at things without fear.

Wanting, unlike a whip
In its brief existence,
Labor with everyone together
And along with the rule of law.

And the same instant dead end
When faced with mental laziness,
And the same extracts from books,
And the same eras are juxtaposed.
But only now is the time to say
The greatness of the day is the comparison of the difference:
The beginning of the glorious days of Peter
The revolts and executions darkened.

So go ahead, don't flutter
And consoled by the parallel
While you are alive and not powerful,
And they did not regret about you.

Boris Pilnyak

Or I don’t know what, stumbling into the dark,
For ever, darkness would not come out to the light,
And I'm a freak, and the happiness of hundreds of thousands
Is not a hundred empty happiness closer to me?

And don't I measure myself with a five-year plan,
Do not fall, do not rise with her?
But what about my chest
And with the fact that any inertia is more inert?

In vain in the days of great council,
Where places are given to the highest passion,
The vacancy of the poet was left:
It is dangerous if not empty.

Painter

I like the obstinate temper
The artist is in power: he has lost the habit
From phrases, and hides from gaze,
And he is ashamed of his own books.

But everyone knows this look.
He missed a moment for hide and seek.
Do not turn the shafts back,
Although hiding in the basement.

Fate cannot be buried underground.
How to be? Unclear at first
During life it passes into memory
His rumor recognized.

But who is he? Which arena
Did he acquire his late experience?
With whom did he struggle?
With myself, with myself.

Like a settlement on the Golfstrem,
It was created entirely by earthly warmth.
Time rolled into its bay
Everything that went beyond the breakwater.

He longed for will and peace,
And the years went like this
Like clouds over a workshop
Where his workbench hunched over.

And on the same days at a distance
Behind an ancient stone wall
It is not a man who lives, but an act:
An act as tall as an earthly sphere.

Fate gave him his lot
Preceding space.
He is what the bravest dreamed of,
But before him, no one dared.

Behind this fabulous case
The order of things remained intact.
He did not hover like a heavenly body,
Not distorted, not decayed.

In the collection of fairy tales and relics
The Kremlin floating over Moscow
The centuries got used to it so much,
As to the battle of the sentry tower.

But he remained human
And if, to cut the hare
Burns in the winter on the felling sites,
The forest will answer him, like everyone else.

* * *
And by this genius of deed
So consumed by another, poet,
That is as heavy as a sponge
Any of him will accept.

1917 - 1942

An enchanted number!
You are with me at any change.
You have completed your circle and come.
I didn't believe in your return.

As then, a quarter of a century ago,
At the dawn of young probabilities
You golden my early sunset
With the light of the same great beginnings.

You celebrate your celebration
And again, twenty-five years old,
I'm not sorry for anything for you,
As at the memorable first dawn.

I do not feel sorry for immature works,
And again this autumn morning
I appreciate your coming
When ready for fresh deprivation.

Before me you are right.
You are innocent in front of me,
And the war with the spirit of darkness for a reason
Darkens your anniversary.

My soul, sorrowful woman
About everyone in my circle,
You have become a burial vault
Tortured alive.

Embalming their bodies,
Dedicating a verse to them,
Crying lyre
Mourning for them,

You are selfish in our time
For conscience and for fear
You stand in a grave urn
Resting their ashes.

Their agony is cumulative
They bowed you down.
You smell like cadaveric dust
The dead and the tombs.

My soul, poor woman,
Everything seen here
Grinding like a mill
You turned into a mixture.

The pursuit of happiness is one of the main goals of humanity. In order to support this idea, the UN declared March 20 as the International Day of Happiness.

TASS learned from psychiatrists and psychologists why the culture of consumption promises happiness, but does not give it, how to catch this feeling, why it does not depend on the level of intelligence and the amount of money, and whether it is possible to be taught to be happy.

Can't be taught, but you can want

“It is wrong to imagine that happiness is only joy, eternal laughter and endless pleasure. A person can be sad and happy at the same time. "- says the psychiatrist Konstantin Olkhovoy.

According to him, the question of whether a person feels happy or not, as a rule, does not depend at all on external factors. “You can have everything you want, but at the same time feel monstrously unhappy, devaluing everything you have,” says Olkhovoy.

Happiness does not depend on the amount of money, on the number of purchases, and on the standard of living, too, does not always depend. Many studies that have measured the happiness index of the population prove that it does not depend on the well-being of the country. "To enjoy life is not something external, it is what we have inside ourselves and what we create inside ourselves," the expert clarifies.

A person can have a lot, but deny it. Or he can live in the poorest African country and enjoy everything that he has

Psychiatrist Konstantin Olkhovoy

According to Olkhovoy, there can be no objective parameters for measuring happiness. Two people can be in similar situations, with identical opportunities, family circumstances, health indicators, but at the same time one of them will be depressed and depressed, and the other will see joy in what surrounds him. "Therefore, there cannot be one unified scheme of happiness. What became the reason for the happiness of one person does not necessarily work the same with another," he explained.

According to the expert, the feeling of happiness largely depends on how much a person has realized or is in the process of realizing his potential. "A person may not be satisfied with the current state now, but he feels that he is going to what he wants, and this process already makes him happy," adds Olkhovoy.

"Happiness for everyone, for nothing, and so that no one leaves offended"

The feeling of satisfaction, the ability to see and notice the good, the ability to appreciate and be grateful for everything that already exists - these are the traits that all happy people possess. "A person can have cancer, and at the same time feel happy. This is because he fully lives the life that he has, feels every day, every moment, lives in this moment and rejoices in it," the psychiatrist said.

It is impossible to describe happiness with materialistic definitions. The Strugatsky brothers in the novel "Monday begins on Saturday" had such a department of linear happiness, where they collected definitions of happiness, worked for the positive, developed models of universal happiness and for each separately. "So this is just impossible in reality. Nobody can make a person happy. Only he himself can want it. If someone says about another, they say, he made me happy, then this is deceit. I myself wanted to be happy with him, "- explained the expert.

Three recipes for happiness

The path to happiness is different for each person, but on this path there are three important components of the feeling of happiness, which are the same for everyone, says psychologist Elena Sokolova. In her opinion, a person can learn the state of happiness only if he has different emotions in his arsenal, both positive and negative, different in intensity and duration. In this case, happiness is noted by a person as an attractive state to which one wants to strive. "Happiness itself is multicomponent: there is joy, and awe, pleasure, and inspiration. Of course, we can fully feel all this only if we have in our arsenal of emotions and sadness, and despair, discontent - in contrast." , - the expert explains.

The first recipe for happiness is not being afraid to experience different emotions.

Psychologist Elena Sokolova

It is very important, she says, not to give up or suppress unwanted emotions that we may not like. "It is also important to experience these emotions. Otherwise, we impoverish our emotional sphere and, in the end, we will not be able to feel happiness," she clarifies.

The second important component is harmonious relationships. "After all, a person is a social being, which means that contact is necessary, and the feeling of happiness depends very much on the presence of contact, especially if it is a long-term and trusting relationship," the psychologist believes. In this case, we are talking about such relationships in which both participants are equally valuable, there is respect for the interests and needs of each other, and the relationship itself gives strength, and does not take them away. Indeed, hardly anyone would argue that a friendly, close and trusting relationship makes people happier.

The third important component of the feeling of happiness, the psychologist calls the ability to follow your destiny. “Choosing what is good for me and not giving up what is valuable to me. Being true to yourself gives me a sense of satisfaction with my life,” she explains.

Sokolova also believes that the feeling of happiness is largely related to the feeling of satisfaction. “After all, we in many ways understand happiness as satisfaction with our life and with what we have:“ I like the way everything is going in life. ”People who have the ability to see and notice the good are closer to happiness,” she clarifies.

Happiness is to be in the moment

According to the psychologist, it is also very important to be able to catch yourself on what I can be happy with right now, at this particular moment. "There is a parable about a Buddhist monk who ran away from a bear for a long, long time climbing a rock, and when he climbed, he saw that another bear was looking at him from above. The monk lowered his head and saw a little strawberry. And there was nothing in his life. tastier than that strawberry. Because this moment he was able to feel to the fullest, this is the enjoyment of the moment - because there simply could not be another moment. This is the sharpness of taste, the sharpness of perception, this is a moment filled with happiness to be in the moment, "she said ...

Any borderline experiences, according to the psychologist, allow you to get rid of everything superficial and live in the moment, some really manage to be happy in this. "It is banal, but in pursuit of some distant goal, we do not notice the path itself and the interesting things that happen along the way. You can enjoy the result for a very short time, but why postpone pleasure, if you can already enjoy the path, from every moment. Such sensations make up happiness, "Sokolova explained.

Happiness is the work of the soul

The culture of consumption has influenced a person in such a way that by acquiring something, or simply wanting to acquire, a person expects that this will make him happy. “But a person adapts to any impressions, sensations and acquisitions. The result is an eternal pursuit of the unfortunate donkey for a carrot,” said crisis psychologist Mikhail Khasminsky.

In his opinion, happiness is, first of all, harmony of spirit and harmony within one's own soul. Adrenaline, hormones of joy, pleasure from possession, according to the psychologist, have nothing to do with happiness. "This drive should not be confused with happiness. For example, a young man has a new girlfriend. He calls this state of happiness. But in fact, it turns out to be a surrogate, because a second, third, and so on appears behind this girlfriend," the psychologist explains.

Chasing endless sensations has nothing to do with feeling happy.

Crisis psychologist Mikhail Khasminsky

According to Khasminsky, a person who knows how and loves to give can be happy. "Often the feeling of unhappiness is due to his own egoism. When one person wants to receive more from another, and the other does not want to give it or cannot. When people only want to receive, but do not know how to give, then endless conflicts and competitions are born from this," he said. psychologist.

Unfortunately, according to the expert, it will not be possible to learn several patterns or behaviors and become happy. This is a significant spiritual work that is spoken of in all the world's religions. "All traditional religions teach us how to become happy. A person who does not want so much, rejoices in what he has and knows how to give and feel joy and satisfaction from this can truly feel happiness," the crisis psychologist explained.

Inna Finochka

They say that if a man is disrespectful to his woman, then luck turns away from him. Why it happens?

Women's creative thinking is many times stronger than men's, so her ability to influence fate is very high, both on her own fate and on the fate of her husband ..

When a woman experiences pleasure and happiness from a relationship, her man begins to be lucky, all doors open in front of him and luck begins to follow on his heels. Because in her happy and satisfied inner state with the power of her creative thinking, a woman blesses her husband for success and attracts favorable events into his life. Either a stream of goodness, luck and prosperity rushes to a man through a woman, or a stream of destructive force.

A woman is closely connected with the subtle spheres, the world of energies, therefore her thoughts, her inner emotional state, which form the physical plane, are realized faster. If the wife is not satisfied with family life, is not happy with her husband, it will be difficult for him to realize himself, it is difficult to achieve success ..

Why do wise men spare no money for gifts to their women, why do they strive to protect them from any unpleasant work and surround them only with pleasant impressions? They know that a satisfied woman is a source of prosperity and happiness for the whole family.

But in family life there is one problem that is not pleasant to talk about. Many women complain that men have become less masculine over the years. That he is not interested in anything, that he drinks and lies on the couch. Women even forget that once they themselves chose and fell in love with him. For something. And for what - you can't even remember. Because this "something" suddenly went somewhere ... Or maybe not all of a sudden?

Do I need to tame him?
When we meet a man, when we are in the moment of the beginning of a relationship, we are very attracted by his masculine strength, masculine energy. We are proud if he rides a motorcycle fearlessly. We are inspired by his victories in fist fights. We enthusiastically tell our friends about how he travels to races in another city, to competitions, takes first places. And even if there are no such obvious manifestations of power, we are proud of others.

We like it when a man caring for us rigidly defines his position - you don't go there, period. There may even be a slight riot inside, but from such a blow with a fist on the table everything calms down inside. Protected. He's strong. He is a real man.

We often expect this in family life - that he will take responsibility, bang his fist, make his own decision, calm the agitated mind. We dream of a strong shoulder, forgetting that in this case we need to give up a lot in our behavior.

A real man is, in a sense, very close to nature. He is just as indestructible, unbridled, wild. And dangerous. It is dangerous to disturb such a volcano once again, warm it up, provoke, cut, suppress ...

When a man gets married, his world changes dramatically. We know many men whom the wedding changed dramatically.

For example, one man at the behest of his wife - out of love for her - broke off relations with all his friends. There were only a couple of "acceptable" options left - with which one could only drink beer at the dacha on weekends. At the same moment, his passion disappeared from his life - hiking, mountaineering, mountains. It was too dangerous for the father of the family. Therefore, all the equipment was distributed to friends and acquaintances. Ultimatums were set harshly: "Either I, or that," then there were arguments that he needed to grow up, that he should think about the family. And out of love for his wife, he agreed. He did not want to leave her a widow, did not want to see her tears and worries. He loved her - and made a choice. Hard choise. He became a homely, caring father. At the same time, deeply unhappy inside. This was noticeable to many. He tried to realize his male part in raising his son - to temper him, to play sports with him. But even that was forbidden by his wife. It's too small.

After a few years, she herself went to another. To the crazy stuntman who was driving his motorcycle around the city at night. She talked about the disappeared passion, about how much he had changed, that he was not worried or interested in anything. But who made him that way? Who forbade him to be a man in this family? Who, by blackmail, took away from him everything that helped him to be a man? Now he has recovered - and is again the same as before. He still conquers the peaks, descends on a snowboard where no man's foot has stepped. He is full of energy, his eyes glow again. Women like him again. But now for him the family is something terrible. Something that can take away his strength and masculinity again.

This is often the case. After the wedding, a woman tries to domesticate a man. For your convenience. In order not to worry where he is and how. In order not to become a widow. And so that he is less attractive to other women. The more tame he is, the less interesting he is to others.

Men agree to this. Because they saw no other examples - many of them were raised only by their mothers. Others grew up with a similarly domesticated dad, stripped of his power. They don't understand the price they pay for it and they just call it "settling down." And also because they love us and want to see us happy.

But the soul remembers and knows everything. And yearns for its former strength. A man like a lion locked in a cage will never become a house cat. He can become just a humiliated and trained lion. Have you ever seen such lion eyes in a zoo or circus? The same thing happens in men's hearts. Hearts that are devoid of their strength.

Is it not by chance that in middle age, almost every man tries to throw off this burden and go all out? Buy a racing car, leave your wife, do something extreme? And if this is impossible, then at least play computer games and become a hero there ... In Europe, grandfathers are most often driving Ferrari-type racing cars. And they also press the gas pedal with great pleasure. Remembering that they are still men. They are still strong and dangerous.

It turns out that we want to marry a superman who won us over with feats and courage. And it is more convenient for us to live - I will emphasize this word "more convenient" - with a home rokhley who does something boring and safe, washes the dishes, the floor - and is not interesting to anyone. Even to ourselves. For convenience you have to pay with respect and your own happiness ...

Both need masculine strength

No matter how hard women resist, they secretly dream that the husband will be the same again as before. Unbridled, strong, wild, dangerous. So that when he came home suddenly, he hugged her so that it took her breath away. So that at the moment of a quarrel, when he is carrying it, he decisively said his "no" and again - with his fist on the table. So that his eyes burn with the fire of strength and passion.

The only difficulty is that next to such a man you need to become different. He cannot be teased and provoked, add fuel to the fire when he is angry. Most often, an irritated man gets nourishment right there by his wife's reproaches, her resentment, and anger. And there is an explosion. His strength fluctuates depending on the man himself and how much fuel his wife has added to the fire. But destruction and sacrifice are always there.

Or a man, inspired by something, does not need to be distracted and disturbed. Finally he sat down with pleasure to nail down - step back. Because advice "not there" and "not so" will not only drive him out of himself, but also lead to the fact that he will not hammer a single nail again.

Are men dangerous?

Men are really dangerous. But when women try to tame and neutralize them, they put a pig on themselves. To herself. Because they no longer want children from a home mattress. For his sake, you don't want to cook or be beautiful. It evokes rather pity and contempt. It is also impossible to respect him.

When a man has masculine strength, it is not easy for a woman. She needs to learn how to treat her husband properly so that it is safe. She needs to worry about him more often. And learn to trust him completely. And also to understand that such a man is very attractive to other women. Therefore, one must always remain for himself. The most beautiful, the most loving, the most tender, the most unpredictable.

It's a different choice and a different life. Stop controlling him. Stop checking his phones and don't make him show up on time. Do not tell him with whom to communicate and what to do. Don't judge his hobbies by their danger. To revive his passion for life over and over again.

Yes, let him decide to start triathlon. It takes a lot of strength, endurance, time. He will need to train, buy equipment, participate in marathons, and his wife will have to come to terms with his absence, employment, physical fatigue. But this is nonsense compared to the way his eyes shine when he says and does something. When he runs ten kilometers or swims a kilometer and a half. This makes him stronger - not only physically, but also mentally.

Hobbies in mountain skiing, racing, mountaineering, sports, business trips, exploits, dangerous travel, extreme activities, communication with other men and much more, from which we want to protect men from - actually give them strength. The strength to remain a man next to us. Strength to take responsibility. The power of asceticism and endurance. Real masculine strength. That we value so much and we miss so much.

Appreciate men for their masculine strength. And help them become stronger and more courageous. There is nothing wrong with the fact that he does not wash the dishes at home. Buy a dishwasher - or learn to love the process yourself. Let him do men's affairs that no one can do without him. Deeds that fill him with strength and energy.

And when the atmosphere is prepared, awareness arises.

There is an old Egyptian proverb: "The master appears when the disciple is ready." It has a deep meaning. Everything appears only when you are ready for it. It is impossible to get anything before the time comes for it, and there is no need to strain in vain: it will only bring failure, disappointment and can discourage any desire to continue the search.

Therefore, determine what kind of atmosphere you need and create it. Even without your knowledge, I try to create an atmosphere in which awareness will appear on its own - and when it comes on its own, it is such a wonderful experience, such a gift from the unknown that a person is filled with gratitude for existence.

And this gratitude is the only prayer that I consider religious.

Osho, you talked about the hidden treasures stored in the superconscious. Is there treasure in the unconscious, or is it just a Pandora's box full of suffering? Sometimes I feel like I suppress happiness in the same way I suppress negative emotions.

Treasures are only in the superconscious. The unconscious is Pandora's box. And if sometimes you suppress happiness, then something is wrong with this happiness; otherwise why would you suppress it? There may be some improper inclusions in it.

The very attempt to suppress him indicates that you see something inappropriate in him. But you can only repress it into the unconscious.

Therefore, first of all, see if there is anything inappropriate in your happiness. Perhaps you are happy because someone is suffering; perhaps you are happy because others are unhappy. There must be some reason why it is inappropriate. At first, happiness becomes wrong. When it moves into the unconscious, filled with garbage, stench, all these garbage push it there. And if you want to return it, you will not find it the same; it will not be happiness at all. Perhaps from the very beginning it was not. But as soon as it is forced out into the unconscious, the unconscious itself will change it.

The unconscious is so vast, so voluminous and so powerful that small happiness will be crushed by it. It will no longer be happiness.

Therefore, never suppress happiness. If you want to suppress, suppress unhappiness, suppress your suffering. If it has become a habit and you cannot help but suppress, suppress something wrong. But don't suppress what you can enjoy.

Happiness is to be enjoyed.

I was telling you a story about one of my teachers. He was a scholar in the field of Sanskrit, and he looked very funny: very fat, with a round face - and wore an old headdress, safu... It is very long, and the head looks very large in it: it is almost thirty-six yards of fabric that a person winds and winds around the head, which makes it bigger and bigger. But he was very simple-minded, simpleton. In Indian "simple-minded" - bhole that's why we called him "Bhole Baba". And when he came to turn it on, it was enough to write “Bhole Baba” on the board. And he literally went crazy: he would throw a chair and say, "I'm not going to work with this class." He screamed and lost his temper, and we all loved it, because he never asked who wrote it. That was the beauty of it: he never asked who wrote it, and never punished anyone for it.

In addition, we had small pebbles with us, and when he began to erase this inscription from the board, we threw pebbles at his back. And he said: “Now, now! I'll just finish. " But he didn't try to figure out who was throwing the stones.

He died. I was probably no more than nine or ten. And I went with my father. He lay dead, dressed as always. Seeing his clothes, I almost laughed, but my father held my hand and squeezed it, said: "Quiet!" At home, he took my word that I would not do anything.

And I promised him. Therefore, he fulfilled his promise. But it was hard to contain himself, seeing him dead in the same headdress thirty-six yards away.

And then his wife came out and suddenly rushed to him with the words: "Oh, my Bhole Baba!" It was beyond my strength! She constantly heard us teasing him "Bhola Baba", we wrote "Bhole Baba" on his door, and he erased this inscription. When we passed by, we shouted: "Bhole Baba!" And his wife sometimes got angry. She said, "You will only be satisfied when he dies." But this "Bhole Baba" also settled in her mind, because she had heard it thousands of times. And it was such a good description of a person that I squeezed my father's hand and laughed.

He got very angry. He took me aside and said: "You promised me."

I said: “I promised you, but I didn’t know that his wife would throw out such a thing. "Bhole Baba" was his nickname, and he did not like it so much that he could disrupt the lesson if someone said "Bhole Baba". We pestered and tortured him, and now that the poor man is dead, his wife played the same cruel joke on him. I couldn't help it; that's why I didn't let you squeeze my hand, but squeezed yours. I meant that at this moment you also need to laugh. "

He said: "From now on you will not go to anyone's funeral when someone's body is taken to the crematorium."

I replied, “I will not walk with you. It has been decided. But I will walk alone. "

In fact, this is the only ceremony that no one can forbid you to go to. If you want to go to the wedding ceremony, you will not be allowed in because you were not invited. If you want to go to the party, you will not be allowed in because you were not invited. This is the only ritual available, and I didn't want to miss it. If I wasn't there, everything would have been lost; no one understood what was the matter, because all those present were adults. They were not his students. I was the only student.

Everyone asked me: "What happened to you?"

And when I told everyone this story, they started laughing. They said, "It was worth laughing at."

Even my father laughed. He said: "Of course, you can laugh at the story, but not in this situation."

I said, "When you have something to laugh at, do not think about the situation, because in this case you will have to suppress the laughter."

Since childhood, I have been against suppressing any joyful feelings that come to you. Why throw them into the trash of the unconscious? And if you have thrown them into the unconscious, then this is not real happiness; there must be something in there that you fear that makes you suppress it. After all, it is a purely human phenomenon - to share feelings.

But as soon as you suppress, remember: everything that is suppressed will fall into the unconscious, and this dark hole will change the quality of everything that goes there.

If you live totally, once is enough

Osho, a few days ago I felt full of energy and felt a lot of love for myself.

I had the opportunity to allow myself to face my number one devil - jealousy. I completely surrendered myself to this, and the result exceeded my expectations: I felt euphoria and enormous gratitude.

I am still in this almost unstoppable energy, which I think consists of sensuality and warmth.

If I dip into it, I risk hurting other people; but the alternative seems like a threat to me. Just sitting and watching will drive me crazy!

Osho, here's my main question: what have I learned as a result of this experience, and how to use it so as not to sink into jealousy again? How to enjoy the freedom of expression of sensuality, so as not to be compromised, not to be dissatisfied and not to go down in history?

This is a very significant experience for you, one of the key experiences that can help you completely change your energy.

Modern people prefer concrete sums of money to abstract happiness, American economists have proved. According to a Cornell University study, most people who find themselves at the crossroads between money and happiness opt for cash.

During the study, 2,500 people answered the question of what would make them happier - a quiet job with an annual salary of $ 82,500 and the ability to sleep 7.5 hours or hard work with six hours of sleep and a salary of almost $ 150 thousand. The overwhelming majority of respondents chose higher earnings, although they agreed that a tense rhythm would deprive them of inner peace and, as a result, make them less happy.

Understanding the motives that forced the test takers to choose money to the detriment of their well-being, scientists came to the conclusion that people are often driven by a sense of altruism. Many survey participants said they were willing to sacrifice their personal happiness in order to make their family members happier. Others felt that happiness was unattainable in the absence of a clear goal, and that higher social status would give them the necessary sense of purpose.

How to find out something personal about the interlocutor by his appearance